That's what they told my Momma caused our house to burn down.
I understand that 'bad wiring' can cause a lot of things to go wrong, even with people, but part of me always felt like it was my fault.
Maybe it was the 'bad wiring' in me that made the fire happen. After all, I am the one who purposefully stepped on every crack I possibly could on my way home that fiery day.
I heard Momma on the phone talking to Aunt Julip one time about Uncle Clyde. I heard her say in a hush, hush voice that he had bad wiring...maybe I had inherited that bad wiring from him. Maybe one day, I too, would go live at a prison like him and all the other folks with bad wiring. Or at least, those that didn't get shipped off to live at a place called The Loonie Bin.
Dennis had a beautiful mother. She looked like Mindy from Mork & Mindy, but with shiny beautiful streaks of silver in her long brown hair. When she ran, those silver streaks looked like shooting stars fallen to the ground, bouncing their way around her face. I couldn't help but gravitate towards her when she came running to fetch Dennis and I. I felt right at home, for the moment, in her arms and then, I felt guilty. She wasn't my mother and I had truly never felt relief in another womans' arms before. But relief is what it was.
The three of us walked slowly back to Dennis' house. Unlike most adults, his Mom walked defiantly down the middle of the road. No cars came down, as if they knew that this was her territory and they dared not cross her path. She had a mission & I guess that was to get Dennis & I back to the safety of her home. Dennis and I walked in silence, each of us attached to either side of her but I couldn't help but look at her through the corner of my eye. Her hair, unlike mine, was thick and full. It bounced & blew free in the wind. Her hair seemed to have a life of it's own, a natural outpouring of her. I thought about my own hair. Thin, limp and lifeless. Just then, I realized that my shoulders were slumped and I wondered if I got better at holding my shoulders up, if i too, one day, would have thick, vibrant hair.
When we got to his house, his father was elbows up & head down in the trunk. He didn't see us coming and didn't really acknowledge us upon our arrival.
Feeling my sweaty fingers getting kinked, knuckle over knuckle, I realized his Mom still had not let go of our hands and in fact, her grip was getting tighter.
'Home early, huh?'
'What's going on?'
'What does it look like? I am busy trying to find some files, okay?!'
'Well, okay. Sorry, I just wasn't expecting you home so early.'
'Well I am. What are you guys doing?'
'I was just going to fix an after-school snack for the kids, then let them play some games or something.'
'Well, I have work to do here today, so that's probably not a good idea. Maybe they can go play games at Paige's house instead.'
'Oh... that's not an option, honey.'
"What?! Not an option?! She can come here, eat our food, play our games?!? But our son can't go there?! Then maybe she should just go the fuck home & play with her damned self!"
I felt the blood rush to my head & I felt my knees begin to shake. Dennis & I never played over at his house! His dad didn't know. He was never home! I felt the blood rush back to my fingers, but just for a moment. The moment between Dennis' Mom letting go of our hands & me clenching my fist.
'Children! Go Inside!'
We budged not an inch.
'Steven... that is not an option because Paige's house burned today. Okay?'
She didn't spit these words out like a woman who walked in the middle of the road. They came out of her like a first grader confessing a potty accident. Suddenly the shiny silver of her hair started to look dull and gray.
'Great! How bad is it?'
'Children... I said go inside....please. It's totaled Steven.'
'Shit! How the fuck did they do that? How long is she here for?'
'I don't know. The fire department just finished putting it out.'
'Sheesh! How long is she here for?'
Until her mother comes to get her.'
'Fuck! When will that be? When she's eighteen?'
I don't know how many times he had said it, but it was the whine in his voice that caught my attention. It was Dennis, he was half way to the door...'Come on Paige.'
I didn't know what to do. I looked at his parents, who were glaring and speechless, staring at one another. My fist were still clenched. I ran to Dennis.
'Man, is your dad drunk?'
'Is he drunk or something?'
'Nah, he just gets like this. Come on in.'
'Ummmm, I don't think so.' I sat down on one of the two steps that led up to his door.
Hand on the doorknob, head cocked to the side...'What? Come on in Paige.'
'Nah, my Momma told your Mom she'd pick me up here. I'll just wait for her here. She won't be too long.'
Dennis plopped down beside me.
Once again, Dennis and I found ourselves sitting on the cool concrete watching the turmoil before us....contemplating what to do and opting to do nothing.
ps...this is fiction folks. To see the parts before this, click FICTION below and read the oldest first. As always..peace & love.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
"The Truth is like the Sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away"Elvis Presley
"I never did give anyone hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell." Harry Truman
"Peace if possible, truth at all costs." Martin Luther
The original post has been moved to archives & comments on this post have been stopped.
I have pulled down blog posts, comments & words....in good faith.
I have edited online reviews, where allowable, so that my words don't seem so 'mean & malicious.'
I have done this, NOT because I have been provided with any evidence of possible errs, but because I am trying to balance my values of peace, freedom of speech & integrity.
I have offered repeatedly, in writing and verbally, to retract any legitimate requests to remove any factual errors, as it has never been my intention, nor my understanding, that I have made any errors... and I do value the truth.
Since I was advised that this would not happen...that instead that evidence is being 'saved for the courtroom'...what's Skinny to do?
I guess I'll just wait on the papers....
Smart Cars Inc. has never provided me with any evidence of what they accuse me of... publishing false information, nor have I been served with papers, which I was advised would be forthcoming.
I stand by my word as being nothing but the truth.
I regret that any of this has happened. I never wanted to be jerked around for a month and shafted for some serious cash, much less bullied and threatened for months and months after the fact... nor do I like to say things that are not positive but the truth isn't always nice.
It seems that the so called owner of Smart Cars Inc of Acworth GA is writing reviews for herself, giving her business 5 stars of excellence.
She can write all the positive reviews about herself she wants. She can do so under other names if she wants. I don't care.
I just don't like being lied about, especially for self-serving and manipulative purposes.
That being said, ALL negative reviews have NOT been written by me.
I taken full ownership and responsibility for any reviews I have written. I always have. If they have other dis-satisfied customers, and it seems they do, then that is their business. I do not appreciate being played as a scape-goat for the negative who-haa that, I believe, they have brought upon themselves. I am sure the other reviewers would not like to have their words dismissed and pawned off upon me, as much and if not more, than I dislike being used and lied about.
I have NEVER been fined by the State.The Secretary of State Used Motor Vehicles Division does not fine citizens. They fine Used Motor Vehicle Dealers when they have done something wrong. It is not my fault nor problem that Smart Cars Inc has been fined.
Failure to do title work was NOT my fault, but merely a problem I had to find a resolution to. I NEVER refused to provide them with a copy of my D.L. I gave them copies...more than once. Two in person and third in a traceable means...over the course of three different months. The err was theirs.
I truly do believe that life is for living, learning and loving...
and that if we aren't doing all three of these things, then we aren't doing a single one of them efficiently.
"When one is truthful with oneself, it is inherent that they are true to all around them."
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Barefoot, with toenails painted & fingers not, sporting jogging shorts and a black sabbath tank, the dog days of summer were upon us.
The fire engine red polish winked back up at the sun, as did the wet, wavy tinsel some 30 feet below.
The iron tubing that served as the top bar on the safety railing was as hot as an iron skillet ready for batter.
With both arms behind me, I gripped the bar with one hand, then the other. Playing hot potato.
'David did it.'
'Yeah, so did Will. He said it was fun.'
'A lot of people have done it.'
'I heard it's a rush man.'
'Are you gonna do it?'
'Yeah, I'll probably go for it....you?'
'I don't know...looks pretty scary.'
I say nothing and notice that the iron tube seems to be cooling under my palms.
A 1965 white T-bird convertible pulls up and Billy bellows out...
'Skinny! What the phuck are you doing?!'
'Just hanging out'
A horn honks...pulling away, Billy barks 'Hang on! Lemme park this beast.'
Before he can run up the incline of the bridge, a 79 Spyder comes driving past.
Steve who is 3 years older than me.
Steve who has delicious blue eyes that seem to dance when I'm around.
Steve who surfs & smokes pot & makes me stomach do flips.
Steve who bangs a U-turn when he sees me.
Steve who came back around and stops just in time to see Tracey pull my jogging shorts down to my ankles.
Steve who saw me instinctively let go off both bars to pull my bottoms back up.
Steve who saw me do what no one else there had done.
Plunge 30' feet down off the bridge and into the open salty waters below.
Sometimes...in life, if we don't jump or get pushed, we simply fall to where we are meant to be.
'Last One Standing' Outsider Hippie Art By Sister Singleton
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Years and years ago, in a Sociology class, our professor asked us what the number one influence was upon who our life partner would be.
Many of us answered love, some answered money, family obligations etc....
but most said love.
Surprisingly enough, but making perfect sense, the answer was 'proximity.'
If our soul mate lived on the other side of the world, we might not ever meet them.
Love is always here, just around the corner, at the end of the street,two steps in front of own feet, at the tip of our fingers and at the tip of our noses...we just don't always see it, sense it, recognize it ... but it's always here. And it's always there.
We are all capable of many loves.
We love our parents, our children, our friends, our families, our neighbors, ourselves .... Just because we love one parent does not mean we do not love the other.
Just because we love one child does not mean we are incapable of loving another.
And if we have lost our love partners, for whatever reason, it doesn't mean that they were not our loves or that we are incapable of loving another.
Our soul, our spirit, our love and nature is multi-faceted. Our minds should be too.
A midnight rambling prompted by the notion that we have just one soul-mate...
Friday, July 11, 2008
The beach, the blues, my sisters & my dogs...
Sweet tea, the river, brick roads & peacocks...
Heath bars, old cars, kaleidoscopes & floating docks...
Butter, bacon, bra-less days & back massages...
Homemade donuts, bamboo windchimes & heart shaped rocks...
The giggles, the butterflies, the sensation of flight...
A good nights' sleep...
Things that are meant to be...
I leave you with another video from John Michael Rose. This time it is some of his original work. He has come a long way since I first met him jamming at a small hole in the wall bar when he was maybe 16 years old. Feel free to leave him feedback on YouTube or MySpace, as he loves to hear what people think and feel. (If you go to his Myspace, he has a gorgeous version of Bell-Bottom Blues)
Peace & Love People
Friday, July 04, 2008
Happy Independence Day & To All A Good Night
Time brings change...we all know that. As I sat on the shores of the Atlantic, Mother Nature displayed this beautifully for me, as evidenced by pics below...