I saw him...
and I saw him looking at me...
smiling.
I smiled back.
I wanted to kiss him.
Instead we hugged...
and then,
we introduced ourselves to one another.
Nana would have shunned me with a hushing 'Just kiss the boy...'
'The Kiss' by Sister Singleton
For Valentines Day... A World of Love, Once More...
Timmy B.
Can't recall his last name.
His sister was a couple years older, my brother's age. They were in school.
Her name was Shelly.
She & my brother would play guard ... sometimes.
But most of the time , we didn't need them.
Most of the time, we would climb up in the oak tree or crawl down under the docks. We would steal away to the park and most often, we would lay under the leaves of the banana tree.
Timmy B was my first love, my first kiss, my first soul mate, if you believe in such things.
He lived two doors down & we were seperated only by one house, roses bushes & orange trees.
Together we would play in the mud, swim in the lake, climb trees, & chase rainbows.
We thought we could outrun the rain. We would run & run & run...down the stree, cutting through yards and jumping fences.
We believed.
We believed in leprechauns, rainbows, pots of gold....and ourselves.
We believed in lifelong loves.
We lived in Eden & we never bit that apple.
We would kiss.
We would kiss on his slat-bottom swing & under the dock. We would kiss while tucked away in the azalea bushes & under the canape of leaves laid out by the banana trees.
We would secretly lay naked together on the downward slope of the lake & he would have his left arm cradled around my head, his hand on my elbow. I would be rub my big toes together & ask him about marriage, love, bugs, God & such. I savored the feel of the Sun against my bare skin, the thump of his heart on my shoulder & the entombment of the bubble of love & comfort we laid in.
Our world was built of love.
We blew the neighborhood kids away. They'd heard rumours.
My brother & his sister seemed to thrive on our love. It gave them comradery.
They believed in us, too & they would encourage us to tuck our way into those azalea bushes.
They would say 'It's OK, we'll guard for you...no-one will know.'
We really didn't care if the whole child-world knew.
Sometimes we would dive into the shrubs ...just to entertain them...and maybe, ourselves.
Timmy B, my first love, my first kiss, my first soul-mate, if you will, was there for me & with me for so many things...
My first big wheel, riding a bike the first time, the first trip to school, the first dealings with death, my first experinece of getting puked on, my first mud-fight, first tug-o-war and so much more ... remembered & forgotten about.
Timmy B & me
We were meant to be
...for at least 3 years or so. Before public education, through kindergarten, first grade & half way through second grade... until his parents took him away.
Oregon? Washington? I don't recall...it was far, far away from my Sunshine State.
I'll never remember his full name or at this point, even his face, but I'll always remember.
Timmy B & me...
And our little Garden of Eden under the Banana Tree Leaves
Sometimes, I still believe...
Buzz-eyed & still going strong, she banters through the crowd of shiny, tanned, rosy-cheeked pretty people with a frothy pitcher in her right hand. Slamming the frothy suds to the table, she calls out over her left shoulder
'Get A Room!' A smirk appears on her lips, eyes roll back in her head...'Sheesh, what a whore!'
'Who?'
'That woman over there ... sucking face with that guy!' 'Yeah? You know her?'
'No! And neither does he! That is why she is a w-h-o-r-e.' 'Well, if you don't know them, then how do you know they're not boyfriend and girlfriend.'
'Trust me, I know. I've been watching them. They just met tonight & now, ugh, just look at them.'
'Hmmm...I don't see what the problem is.'
'You're kidding?! That doesn't make you sick?!'
'No, actually I think it's great.'
'Oh My Gawd! You have got to be kidding me?! What, pray-tell, are you talking about?'
'I think that more people should behave just like them.' 'Oh My Gawd! They don't even know each other! They might as well...' looking over her shoulder once more, voice rising more than our ciggie-smoke, 'Go Get A Room!'
The brunette chic broke from her lip-lock to look our way only to be confronted with the double-sided conscious of a stranger to her and a dear friend to me..
'Yeah! I was talking to you! I'm serious, you need to Get a Room.'
I shuddered in fear of an altercation for a moment, sipped my salty margarita through the straw and giggled when I realized the brunette wasn't the fighting type, 'She coulda been the type to want to brawl over that, thank goodness she's just into sucking face.'
'Smartass. '
'Seriously, why does that bother you?'
'It bothers me because I am a single woman too & how am I, how are you, ever supposed to meet someone worthwhile if we have whores like this setting these men up to think that anytime they go to a bar that's it's all about getting some?'
'Hahaha...I'm with ya, but most folks don't come to places like this looking for soul-mates or life partners, they come looking for fun. That's why we're here, right?'
'True. But our definition of fun is obviously different than hers! It just makes it harder for the rest of us to have fun...the way we define it. It makes for pressure on us to give in to that type of behavior.'
'Hmmm...I dunno. But I do know that if you or I were to meet a guy while drunken at the bar , I would much rather that we suck face in the corner...all night long even, as opposed to going off and getting a room.'
'Oh great Skinny...so everyone would be looking at us off in the corner sucking face, calling us whores....great.'
'Whatever. I'd rather kiss someone in public & be called a whore, than do lord knows what in private & feel like one in the morning.'
Smarts Cars Inc in Acworth GA Georgia was dishonest to me & it cost me thousands of dollars...
This experience comes from my early, early twenties & although I haven't kissed anyone in many, many moons (outside of my diggity-dawgs, that is) nor have I been to a bar, I look back and I have to say ... my perspective is the same. I'd rather kiss 100 frogs in public than slink around with a single snake in private.
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