Thursday, June 07, 2007

Robbie & the Devil


Robbie.
The only person I have ever said 'I hate you' to in a emotional fit.
Gawd, I loved her... following her from watermelon patch to kitchen and garage, to the fishing spot under the banana tree.
Robbie helped to teach me a lot of things ...
how to spot fresh soil and how to make fishing poles,
when to say Thank You, Your Welcome & God Bless You and
the wheres and whens of spitting.
Until it was the end of her day, I would follow that little old woman around.
And then, I would follow her to the faded sedan that blew blue smoke when it came to fetch her.
I guess Robbie was a good sixty or seventy years older than me.
She'd say to my mother, 'I dont know wut you gonna do wit dat chile...she got duh Devha in hur.'
;) Now with a developed ID & ego, I guess this is the same thing that my mother now calls 'spit,' the cops now call 'passion,' my girlfriend calls 'conviction' or just the part that my brother calls the pitbull in me.
When particularly rotten, Robbie would lead me to the bathroom.
'You got duh Devha in ya chile, you bedda spit dat devil 'n out!'
I would spit & spit & spit into that toilet.
'I don't see any devil!' I would defiantly proclaim.
'Awwwdnow, you caint see 'em, but he's inya... keep own spittin chile.'
She'd flush that toilet & I would spit, always looking for that little devil in me to go plunging into the water.
I confided in Singleton & Kimbies that I never did see that devil get flushed.
Yup.
I was convinced that he had taken root somewhere in the world inside me.
They confirmed my beliefs, yup gotta spit that devil out.
And then told me about the water rats.
The ones that come up the pipes & suddenly appear in the toilet when you are right there... but when you still can't see them.
These evil little creatures that come to bite little girls who spit, but don't spit the devil out, right in the ass.
Living on a lake, I am sure that I have seen the water rats outside before & the thought of those beady eyed, knobbly tailed beasts coming up the commode to bite me in the ass was all too believable to me.
Stranger things have happened in this world.
Although, I have yet to be bit in the ass by a water rat and
I have yet to see the devil,
I still spit.


I guess that it's just the devil in me.

25 comments:

singleton said...

Girl, you were born with the spit in you! Wide eyed and wild haired baby doll child! And I loved you from that very moment! Ewww, so sorry about the sewer rat stories, but you gotta believe me on this one, WE BELIEVED!

Uh, Robbie told me a few of her spins on spirits and karma and the "devha gotchya good"....bopping me with the broom, sweeping me outa bed "Yup, youngin', yup, fore yo daddy know ya jest layed down"....God love her, she saved me from a thousand encounters with ....well, with the consequences! Always letting me wander far enough to learn the lesson and then yanking my skinny butt back right before I had to pay the price!

i love you sister...days, just days!

Orhan Kahn said...

Every woman has the devil inside, aye? Seem every chile does too.

mindy said...

if my mother had thought of it, i would have been spitting for years! :)

Angela Marie said...

Paige!! This was like a scene in a movie! You had me laughing out loud!!

Robbie sounds like a character in a half! I would have been scared to death to pee after hearing that.
You must have been so cute, just a spitting.

BTW~ You and your family getting together soon... I am just as happy as can be for all of you. I know by just reading yours and Singleton's blogs, you two are getting together. And Kim? I bet you all are a riot together.

((hugs))

SpongyBones said...

Spitting the devil out. Hmmmmmm, I think I know how to get rid of the devil ... that is if you really want to.

The first time my big bro gave me Skoal... okay actually the first time I stole my big bro's Skoal, I put it in my mouth, I swear, green horned devils came out of the pit of my tummy onto the ground. It left hot trail of ashy looking black marks on my teeth.

HA! I'm devil free I am I am!

skinnylittleblonde said...

LOL Sister...yes, I like you, believed! LOL, last week-end Mom kept saying to Tim 'That Paige, boy did she have spit when she was a kid. Whew!' as if Tim hasn't seen my spit! Oh Dear Robbie, I forgot how she'd get us with that broom! She saved us so many times...from cars slipped into neutral, from water moccassins & alligators, from retalitory neighbors, from Dad & from ourselves. Bless her heart.

Orhan~ Lol, yes that may be true. I think men do too. It makes us human... otherwise we might be too godly.

Mindy~ Hahaha...now, we have a generation of spitters beneath us, ready to introduce the next round of children into the wonderful world of spitting.

Angela Marie~ Lol, cute? Maybe not. Skeptical & angry until I finally tired, maybe. Yes, I was terrified, but too defiant to admit it ;) Robbie was cute... no bigger than a gnat, she carried herself like a heavy-weight boxer & without a proper education, her mind packed more punch than many with doctorates! Oh & Yes, me and the girls are getting together for a seaside pow-wow! :) Just got off the phone with Kimbies, she & Singleton are headed out today for a full week & I will follow in the wee hours of Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.

Spongy~ 'Awwwwdnowww chile, I noz dat devha still intchya.'
I tried Coppenhagen when I was fourteen and first moved to Georgia and it must of been the devil cuz I spit it right out! Again, I say it's the devil in each of us that keeps us human... and sometimes allows us to have some fun ;)

Bardouble29 said...

We all have a little devil in us. Its what put that mischevious twinkle in our eyes and makes us spirited.

paddy said...

"Don't give up the spit girl."
I guess that's what you call an oxymoron.
My teacher once upon-a-time called me a poxy moron for spitting....teachers can't be wrong, can they?
Just spacing with you.
Love readind your stuff.
Y;-) Paddy

Enemy of the Republic said...

This isn't related to the post, but I wanted to tell you something about your comment on Spongy's blog--I've had three miscarriages, one involving a D and C and I didn't know they got classified as abortions. Shit! That really sucks!

skinnylittleblonde said...

BarDouble~ Yup! Thank Goodness! The devil in me, gives me balance! ;)

Paddy~ Oh Yeah...teachers can be wrong. I should know, I used to teach & I am plenty wrong. I wrote this post originally because last week when I was rather ticked off, I was pacing outside and I realized that I was spitting about every 30 paces. LOL. It was like the spit kept me from jumping in my car and unleashing unholy hell upon the instigator of my ire.

Enemy~ yup...it is what it is. I once read an article about how most women who have one D&C, get multiple D&C's and then last year when I was reviewing the medical bills, I realized that my own misfortune had turned into anothers' manipulation. D&C's are considered abortions.
Just something else to make me wanna spit!

Scott from Oregon said...

Almost a whole weak of spit'n on the beach?

Yousa that sounds like trouble...

skinnylittleblonde said...

Scott~ You silly thing you... I won't be spitting on the beach...the beach will be spitting on me...sand, saltwater & sunshine!

Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt said...

Spitting. Wish it was that simple. They made US go to confession.

Princess Banter said...

We all have the devil residing in us ;) More in women than men, sometimes I think :)

she said...

another great post.. another great read

and just love this comment from your sister too:

"God love her, she saved me from a thousand encounters with ....well, with the consequences! Always letting me wander far enough to learn the lesson and then yanking my skinny butt back right before I had to pay the price!"


what's that like? i wonder.. having paid such a high price plus tax for so many of my wanderings

and what's that like? i wonder..
having a skinny butt.

what a blessin' of a woman; that robbie

and i imagine you.. beloved small, wild chile.. never hit; but gatherin' up big wads of saliva; spittin'out your innocent sins while robbie flushes her frustrations away

Hammer said...

I keep spitting too, is that green stuff the devil? ;)

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Shit, that finally explains all! Is that why, lifted skirt, drawers lowered, backing down, the hugest rat in the universe brushed my fanny that day??

(I'm spittin' real hard from here on out!)

skinnylittleblonde said...

katherine~ LOL...don't even get me started on the confession thing... I'll have to spit ;)

Princess~ yes, men seem to flaunt their devil, proud to share it with anyone anywhere. us women, we keep him deep inside until it's time...

She~ Lol, I didn't mean to throw a guilt trip her way and dear Robbie, she would literally sweep us away with that broom of hers. Oh, and just to clarify Robbie would get the switch to us just as quick as Dad. Lol, her switchin' always brought shame, poor Dad's switchin' just brought more anger. May the world be full of more Robbie's!

hammer~ Yes! The green stuff is the devil. Keep spittin'...

Shrink~ Please, please, please tell me this is not true!

I, like the view said...

ooooooooooh

*shivers uncontrollably*

(and that's at the thought of it!)

linalani said...

heheh..readign this is like watching a movie:D

vicci said...

You little "stinker" you!!!!!! :-) You might have that devil in you...but you have the heart of an ANGEL!!!!! HUGS! XXXOOOO

Anne said...

Yeah, what Vicci said. I think you're just a mischievous little angel. :)

skinnylittleblonde said...

ILTV~ Miss you & never mean to make you shiver...unless it would be with delight ;) Hmmm...perhaps I should offer some mint chocolate chip ice cream & fresh coffee.

linalani~ Lol...then I just love you imagination girl!

Vicci~ You always have such kind words xoxox...off to see my girls!

Anne~ Lol, a girls' gotta have some fun! ;)

just me said...

You took me to a place and a time, long forgotten, but always there, somewhere, forever, tucked away in the memories of my mind. I swear I could be reading something from Harper Lee. You have the gift. True, untouched, clear, and full of color. A beautiful story.

skinnylittleblonde said...

just me~
thank you...I hope your enjoyed your place. peace sometimes takes a little spit!