Sunday, April 09, 2006

Lord of my own Domain

The thunder roars when my stomache growls & other beliefs

As a little girl, I was introduced and re-introduced to God in a variety of manners. By the time I was about 4, I started making certain conclusions about this whole God thing.
As elusive as he was to me, I trusted my Mom when she told me that he made all life: flowers and people, fish and ants, and all in between. He made the waters and the sun and he could make it rain, even flood, when he wanted. We were part of HIS world. Us and the ants.

One afternoon, as I was writing with a stick on the sidewalk, I found myself adsorbed by the activities of the ants scurrying around in such an organized fashion. It was as if they didn't know that I existed. Me and My World didn't seem to matter the least to these ants.

I took my stick and dragged it around their line. Knocked off course, they were quick to recover and get back in line. Suddenly thunder ripped through the skies, as often is the case in central Florida, but I was still absorbed by these ants. The thunder didn't bother them either...none of them seemed to stop, even for a nano second, to look to the sky. Soon big ole splats of rain were dropping fast & hard. I scurried myself inside, very much like an ant running for the hills.
On the sofa, with the power out from the afternoon storm, I continued my daydreaming. As the rain slapped the windows and ran down the panes in sheets, I couldn't help but thinking that this storm was surely causing a flood to the ants & their world.
My stomache growled, I needed to get something to eat...but was feeling too lazy. Then the thunder clapped, quickly followed by another growl of my belly. As I was venturing into the kitchen, I thought how much my stomache growl sounded like the thunder. As I waited for Mom to make a peanut butter sandwich, my stomache let out another rumble, followed immediately by a rumble in the sky.
I took a sip of my water and it hit me. We are all Lords of our domains! When our stomache growls, it's thunder to the world inside. When you drink, it's rain.

We are smaller than an ant in Gods body. And in our body we have worlds. When we are sick, those worlds experience floods and tornados, hurricanes and mudslides and so on. When we are feeling good they get appropriate weather conditions for good healthy soil & a good healthy life. They'd get a better life and a better world if we all took better care of ourselves.
Infinitey. A word I did not knwo, but a concept I was learning. I could feel so small looking at the stars and so big looking at the ants. They both seem so oblivious to me & My World. Infinety.

I could see all of us...me, the stars, the ants & our world being astronomincally large & at the same time small enough to fit in an ants belly. Depends on the perspective. I could, we all could, have an entire system of worlds within us. God is infinite and I am within him & he within me. And in some worlds, the thunder roars when my stomache growls.
This was my first individual divine principle, one which was created via daydreams, reality & religious notions handed down. Please share with me any quirky notions that you may have come up with as a child.



1 comment:

psycho-therapist said...

your writing takes me back to another time and place. it's like reading a mini-novel. wow. i'm loving it!
lisa