"By doing, I learn what to do. By going, I learn where to go. One day, by dying, I'll learn how to die..." and until then I hope to simply live, learn and love.

excerpt from Odd Hours by Dean Koontz

It was a long, long time ago.
We were all the same, but we were all different.
He hated women, all of them....mothers, sisters, lovers... but he liked me.
Peace was foreign to him and love was a four letter word only to be dropped in fits of rage.
Ironically, looking back, I realize 'I love you' was one of the first things he ever said to me.
But really, he loved his resentment.
He loved his anger.
He loved to push buttons.
And if he couldn't push yours, he would search for new buttons & push even harder.
He loved his rage.

He thought...
it was his gift and it gave him power....
it saved him from heart-ache...
it gave him a liberation most men would never know...

I thought he lied to himself...
I saw burden, a weight, a curse which only weakened...
I saw a lonesome, fragmented heart...
held hostage like most men would never know....

Then, I realized that by simply listening...
by trying to understand...
by continuing to support...
I wasn't helping him help himself ...
In fact, I too was being held hostage.

'I don't lie to myself. You just don't like what I say. If you don't like it, just walk on...like every other woman has in my life. Hell, even at two weeks, my own mom didn't even like me, I don't know why I expected anything else from you.'

So, I listened some more...
in agreement that I did not like what he said,
but more so...that I didn't believe it.
'Say what you mean & mean what you say.'

A lover of anger, a button pusher and a dependent
he belted out at me, over nothing, one morning...
'Why don't you just go? Just effing leave, like every other effing woman?'
'Say what you mean...'
'I hate you! Just effing go!'

Within ten minutes, I was out the door.
Never to return.

Years and years later...
we're all still the same, but we are all different.

(Artwork, of course by Sister Singleton...JustGiveMePeace)

Bill Gates & 11 Things Not Learned in School

I don't usually do much other than delete forwarded emails... but this one I thought I would forward to the blog world....

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! To anyone with kids of any age, here's some Bill Gates advice.

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually
have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.