Funny how I don't remember the sky shining purple through these leaves that stormy day.
Sometimes, even in the simplest of moments, there is just too much for us to take it all in...
to soak it up, to be completely aware, to see everything and to recall it all...
If you had asked me if the sky glowed purple, I would have said 'nope...it's blue.'
Perceptions & perspectives.

But looking at it now, I see it clearly... a purple haze.

I have heard a gazillion times that it takes two years to get past a divorce.
Personally, I don't think some people ever get past it.
The notion of failure sits like a giant moldy boulder blocking their path as opposed to becoming a great jumping rock from which to bring dreams to fruition..

Two years ago today...I got my divorce.

Today, I have many folks I love contending with the issue...
I wish them stepping stones, jumping rocks & the peaceful beauty of changing skies...

Jimi Hendrix sang a song called Purple Haze & it is commonly believed that he wrote the song about LSD, but in fact the flip is true. The LSD was named after the song. The song was actually written in response to a dream he had about walking under water in the ocean and how his blind faith brought him to the surface, thus saving his life. It was recorded the same year I was born and is on the 'Are You Experienced' album.

Experienced indeed & more to come...

sometimes...
wading
floating
drifting
sinking
swimming
in the waters

sometimes...
losing
catching
holding
my breath

Sometimes...
climbing atop
jumping off of
dangling my toes from
sprawling myself over
pocketing
the rocks

in this purple haze

Always Living, Loving and Learning...
Faithfully

The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is.
- John Lancaster Spalding

Home Sweet Home

I had forgotten what it was like to live alone.
My mind ticks differently & my feet pad the earth with a different weight.
I re-learning things about myself that I had forgotten.
But, now I remember...
I like to keep my paints in the kitchen cabinets. They are easy to see, easy to reach & easy to put back up.
I can come home to 100's of gallons of water shooting out from pipes beneath my house, I can haul ass to Lowe's before they close & get them fixed by midnight, so that I may shower for work in the morning.
I love to walk topless in the confines of my own home without anyone thinking it means I want to get freaky.
I enjoy the ritual of mowing my yard.
Booming Led Zeppelin and working on drywall at midnight is not a problem.
Hanging clothes on the line to dry is peaceful, as is the sweet smell of sunshine that comes from this.
When the main phone line goes out & leaves me with no internet, I can run new lines from the box.
I enjoy eating meat, potatoes and greens and if that means I eat grits and eggs for four or five nights in a row so that I can afford to enjoy a good steak one night, it's not only ok...it's good, damn good.
I can change two sets of deadbolts in less than seven minutes.
It's never too late to wash the dogs...I can do that in the wee of the night if I want & they don't mind a bit.
Cleaning the toilet isn't something I have to do every time I go to the restroom. I never sprinkle when I tinkle.
In the event of a national emergency, I can turn my TV on. Other than that, it's OK if it just collects dust.
Eleven o'clock is not too late to exercise, midnight is not too late to eat & it's never too late for Love.

Here's your change ma'am, Thank You

...and Have a Nice Day.
Just Do It
Not so long ago I had a gazillion letters in my name.
Now I have 10. First name, middle name & last name...10 letters.
Some get repeated, some don't.

With my old name I could re-arrange letters and spell great little words like peace.

I Did It.
'Peace' may not be a word mixed in my new name, my current name...my final name anymore, but it's in my life...slivers, moments, glimpses, whispers of it.
Now, ironically enough 'Live, Love & Learn' are mixed up in my name and ... ah well, I'm pleased to offer up 'Peace' and just keep the change on this one...

Sometimes we gotta give stuff up...Live, Love & Learn to truly keep the peace.

Could I get my change, please?

I get called all kinds of things & I answer to just about any & all of them. Outside of the generic pet names dosed out here in the south, such as darlin', babe, dear, sweetie, shoog (as in shew-gah aka sugar) I also get called some pretty specific proper names, which are not mine. Most often these names are Pam, Peg and for some strange reason, Faith. Doesn't matter really.
If you're talking to me, I will pretty much talk back, I was raised that way. Mom usually went through a smorghasborg of names before she got to mine. I think anyone with three or more children in the house is allowed to do this & I think that those children should listen when spoken to, regardless of what they are being called.
Call me what you will.
None-the-less, I do have a name. A legal one. It's attached to my social security number.
I have the name that I was born unto, but it's not my legal name.
I had my legal name changed after I got married.
The social security office told me to write, then sign, what I wanted my legal name to be. I asked if I could change my name to #&?@* and was advised that I had to have a legal reason to change my legal name. I asked about the Artist Formerly Known as Prince & was told he had his legal reasons. They said that my legal reason was my marriage.
But now, I'm divorced & the judge declared that I could go and change my name back.
back?!?
Hmmm...
I decided to get married much for the same reasons that I chose to get divorced ... I was moving forward in life .
But legally, it would look like I am moving in circles... in fact, like I am going back.
I haven't gone down to the Social Security office with my divorce papers yet, but when I do I hope to let you know if they will allow me to simply change my name or if they will tell me if I can only change it back.
I still love him & he loves me but there's no going back.

The Morning After Peace was Declared...One Kitty Out of the Bag

The cat is out of the bag...
The dogs still don't get it.

I chose to live, not in the shadow of someone else's life, but directly under the sun, the moon & the stars with nothing in between.

I finally chose to breath on my own again, no longer holding my breath waiting for the spoken words of another to be actuated.

I chose peace, something even those who seem to have it all, can't seem to trust or understand.

I chose to take the hits below the belts, the blows to the spirit & soul and tend to to them with patience, understanding & perhaps, most importantly, acceptance so that I could minimize my scars and battle wounds.

I chose to learn and grow, where others often choose to punish.

I chose to take those bricks of burden thrown onto my shoulders & build a little path with them.

I chose to give, not give up or give in, but simply give.

I chose to trade my despair in for determination, my broken heart for a healing one and my sense of loss for more common sense.

I chose to forgive, although I will never forget.

I chose to nurture those who had negated me, support those who had undermined me & ease those who had hurt me.

I chose peace.
Every ending is a new beginning. ☮

As we listened to the various folks & their pleas, we were surprised to find that peace is truly rare.
It was like an 'upside down and inside out' wedding...
We walked down the aisle & stood before the judge, side by side, man and wife.
I shook and shivered, like on my wedding day, but my voice remained strong & clear.
We said our 'I do's' to the man in black.
I clicked my heels three times.
He granted my wish & brought down his gavel.
TimmyToes took my hand in his & together we left the courthouse....
no longer man & wife.


Every ending is a new beginning. ☮

That's Once ...

Sunday...I promised someone (((Me, with a capital 'M' and a little 'e,' not just a promise to me:))) that I would blog about Sunday & it's just taking me a couple days to get true to my word.

Lemme begin with a joke, a tale, a story that I recently heard, read or dreamed up.

A little boy was at his grand-parents 50th wedding anniversary party. When things began to quiet down, the young boy said to his Grand-pa, "Fifty years sure is a long time Gramps! How'd you get to marrying Grandma & how'd yawl stayed married so long?"
So Gramps told him the story of his first date with his Grandma, how he'd picked her up in Model-T, how Model-t's had to be cranked, rain or shine, how he had to pull off the side of the road to crank the car in the pouring rain on the way to dinner, how another driver zoomed past them splattering Georgia-clay-turned-to-mud all over them, how he got back in the Model-T mad as a hornet & chased the other driver down, how the other driver swerved to a stop & how he almost T-boned him, how he got out to meet the other driver in the street & how they were exchanging words, man to man.
He told the young boy how Grandma appeared suddenly between the two men & pointed her finger in the other man's face & calmly said "That's once." Gramps & the stranger fell silent, perplexed.
As Gramma turned back to the vehicle, Gramps & the other fellow went at it again.
She spun on her heel & came right between them again. Again with her finger pointing at the stranger, she calmly said "I'm telling you...now that's twice & I'll not tell you again." She walked back to the Model-T. The two young men stood speechless for a few minutes. Watching her retreat to the car, Gramps & the stranger started sharing words again.
With the calmness of long fallen snow, Gramma returned to the two men who were busy fussin' & a hollerin' at each other & she pulled up a shotgun & blew the strangers head off.
Granpa told the young boy how he immediately started yellin' at his Gramma...'Woman why'd you do that? Why'd you kill him? We wuz justa exchanging words! Are you crazy?!"
Granpa told the boy how she looked him square in the eye & ever-so-peacefully said 'That's once" and that they'd been happily married ever since.

~The End

'That's once' happened a couple weeks ago.
'That's Twice & I'll not tell you again' was my Sunday.

JustGiveMePeace...