Thursday, August 02, 2007

The Morning After Peace was Declared...One Kitty Out of the Bag

The cat is out of the bag...
The dogs still don't get it.

I chose to live, not in the shadow of someone else's life, but directly under the sun, the moon & the stars with nothing in between.

I finally chose to breath on my own again, no longer holding my breath waiting for the spoken words of another to be actuated.

I chose peace, something even those who seem to have it all, can't seem to trust or understand.

I chose to take the hits below the belts, the blows to the spirit & soul and tend to to them with patience, understanding & perhaps, most importantly, acceptance so that I could minimize my scars and battle wounds.

I chose to learn and grow, where others often choose to punish.

I chose to take those bricks of burden thrown onto my shoulders & build a little path with them.

I chose to give, not give up or give in, but simply give.

I chose to trade my despair in for determination, my broken heart for a healing one and my sense of loss for more common sense.

I chose to forgive, although I will never forget.

I chose to nurture those who had negated me, support those who had undermined me & ease those who had hurt me.

I chose peace.
Every ending is a new beginning.

As we listened to the various folks & their pleas, we were surprised to find that peace is truly rare.
It was like an 'upside down and inside out' wedding...
We walked down the aisle & stood before the judge, side by side, man and wife.
I shook and shivered, like on my wedding day, but my voice remained strong & clear.
We said our 'I do's' to the man in black.
I clicked my heels three times.
He granted my wish & brought down his gavel.
TimmyToes took my hand in his & together we left the courthouse....
no longer man & wife.

Every ending is a new beginning.


she said...

you took the words right out of my...

right off my keyboard.

-me too.

i chose peace over marriage, and straight from the lyrics in one of jim morrison's songs from his "undiscovered" cd

"...once you've got a taste of it, there's no goin' back"




Bardouble29 said...

Wish I could through my arms around you and give your beautiful, skinny neck a big 'ole hug.

I too chose peace over marriage and I too am now so much more at peace and I now have in my life a man that I am enjoying sharing my space and my time.

Peace my dear friend!

skinnylittleblonde said...

She~ While sitting in the doctors office a week or so, I read a short magazine article on the correlation between long linfe & marriage... which actuaries have historically tied together. Since the 70's that stat has been changing though, according to this article. Longer lives come from living with peace, with or without a partner. I wonder how insurance companies will handle this tid-bit in coming years. Perhaps, they will drop our rates! ;)

BarDouble~ Thank You! Smokie, Vilulah, Brodie, Marbeline, Brodie & even, TimmyToes still offer me wonderful hugs & I'll take one vicariously through them...from you! TY! I'm so glad that you have a wonderful man in your life now... and imagine SB is right, in that, I will probably go through a stage of bitterness, but that has yet to happen...thank goodness. Divorce, although I am the one who asked for it, is not something I ever was something I needed to do.

SpongyBones said...

Damn. You're one hell of a Woman! Choice is such a powerful thing and so many times we let other people take that gift from us, or we find excuses to remain in situations where we are not allowed to have the gift of choice anymore. My hats off to you ... in you old faded Levi jeans running with the wind now! You go!!!

eric313 said...

All the good luck and vibes and peace to you and your chosen loved ones. It wins in the end--the blue lady promises! I believe her!

Congratulations? I guess that is appropriate.

Bless your soul. Your heart gives blessings already, so it won't need blessing as much. Keep the brave walk strong like this.

"ramble on...
sing my song..."

Click those ruby slippers, and remeber there no place like home... with fam and friends
...with peace on you terms.

eric313 said...

man, the typos...
I really meant it all, if it makes sense or not!


eric313 said...

by the way... did you catch that when I nominated you and Singleton both for Creative and Thoughtfull Blogger award? Maybe not! Or maybe so.

No rush! Take you time, after all, I havene't even put an award post together. You are one of the last to get them, though. Only two more left after you.

Be well! You deserve the little nods, and the bigger songs. Be cool and stay in the shade of the biggest peace you know!
I said peace, not piece...

Anonymous said...

Persichetti says...

My dear friend, there is no doubt that you made this choice with clarity and peace. And knowing you, there are no grudges held. Your heart has no room for ill will and for that alone you will move forward and find even more peace and through this experience you will bring peace to so many others. I love you!

kimbies said...

I love You!!!!! May peace surround you always my love!!

kimbies said...

I have been trying to leave you a message since this morning and you know how I am it never works!! So here is my oringinal meessage. Escape at any time, then go to weather, then to webcam,then new syrmrna, then turn up the volume!!!! enjoy relax feel the peace!!! Love!

singleton said...

ahhh, my precious little sib, with the window wide open, flies are free to leave, and butterflies to dance on the old splintered windowsill. Your time has come. I am so VVF proud of how you have traipsed through oceans of rheumy tides, to catch this little wave....Ride it girl.......

skinnylittleblonde said...

Ah My Dear Beautiful, Supportive & Loving Sisters....
Persichetti, Kimbies & Singleton...
I love you all so very much. Each one of you has been such an instrumental inspiration to me on a daily basis and especially in these changing times...ILY.

* the link, just found it last week-end & sent it to a friend...our great minds think alike! xoxoxox

skinnylittleblonde said...

Spongy~ Lol, yup ... sometimes I feel just like the old faded Levi's I wear! A little tattered, worn but ever-so-comfy. TY, P&L.

eric1313~ Keeping on with the good tunes ...'nows the time, the time is now...' TY for your nomination, I rec'd it in a comment box somewhere, either here or there. P&L to you.

Beerspitnight said...

Lately I've associated the content of a couple of posts from a couple of posters to song lyrics from the band Hot Water Music.
(that last sentence sounds weird, but I am currently lacking the energy to figure out how to rewrite it so it makes sense)

A couple of the phrases from your post made me think of the song "Sunday Suit".
I don't expect you, or many others for that matter, to be able to get into the sound of the band, but their lyrics always resonate within my head.

Sunday Suit
Shun me I've done you wrong
Mocked you and broke your home.
Carried on as a king to throne. I know, I loathed.
I've reconciled my faith with no way to explain where it comes from.
Heard out suspicious ways, forwent the drowning pain.
Oh, and I've had mine
Sunday suit never fit quite right, maybe why I never saw your light.
Fear had its grip for quite sometime, so I obeyed and lied.
Listen, don't hear this wrong, you've taught me what I know.
Though I'm not what you want, I've found peace on my own.
Sunday suit never fit quite right, maybe why I left Siddhartha style.
I choose a path of open minds, am I damned for it?
I know the evils of mankind and I keep far from them.
Do all I can to grow inside. Judge me for that.
-Hot Water Music

Link to hear the tunes

Hammer said...

Very wise words

Orhan Kahn said...

If you ever need a place to escape my door is always open to you, even if it is many thousands of miles away, it is always open. As is my heart.

I don't often cry. I'm trying hard not to right now.

You will forever be loved by many, and more.

Peace and love? Not tonight. God bless, instead. If at all, for you and only you.

skinnylittleblonde said...

beerspit~ Thanks for sharing. Lol, he looks quite at ease in a Sunday Suit ;) It's me who is uncomfortable in a sunday suit!

Hammer~ I hope so...when we can't believe in others we can at least , trust in ourselves, as long as we carry on without ill-intent.

Orhan~ wouldn't that be a bit freaky! LOL, skinny showing up at your doorstep half the world away saying 'uh, I need a place to stay for the night.' ;) Lol, you are too sweet, please don't be sad. I know you are going down a completely different path right now & no matter what path we are on, there's always room for some p&l.

Orhan Kahn said...

It wouldn't be freaky at all, would but just another beautiful night in the city of Syn :)

Goodnight, sweetness.

Mel said...

You've got a whole lotta love carrying you through.
I know you know how graced you are.


Here's to new beginnings, eh?

JustRun said...

You, my friend, are an inspiration. I have never read a scenario like this one so overcome with calm.

singleton said...

Ta!dah! 24 hours! You rock baby girl!

kj said...

i've been away, skinny, but just squeaked out a moment to read this post. i'll have more to say when i can, but for now: way to go. congratulations on your ability to fly.


eric313 said...

"I've been this way ten years to the day...
I gotta ramble on..."

Hope you have time, at least for yourself, friend. Fly on,
shine on
crazy diamond

skinnylittleblonde said...

Lol, Orhan. Well lucky for you I still have my home & live 1/2 a world away ;)

Mel~ 'Graced', something I am sure that exuded from me as I decided to run through the rain at the grocery store lot with 10 bags of food hanging from my arms, when my left toes made one with my right heel and I ended up crab-running through the lot until I finally crashed into the grassy curb, which promptly stopped my crouched down run and fed my a mouthful of grass. lol...grace. j/k I know I am very blessed & you, my dear, and your words are some of those blessings. TY! I'll toast with you anytime!

JustRun~ TY...I've learned that exploding over lies & infidelities doesn't take them away & it doesn't improve a thing.

Singleton~ 48 hours & counting...

KJ~ TY... I've been 'away' as well , I just didn't go anywhere ;)

Scott from Oregon said...

So,like... uh... skinny...

What are you doing next weekend?

skinnylittleblonde said...

Eric! I missed you! We were typing at same time?
'The autumn moon lights my way'
'I keep ram-ba-lin'...'


'It's something unpredictable,
but in the end it's right...'

Scott~ Lol, I have no idea...probably dusting, re-arranging furniture, sweeping... But I would love to take Bella Donna out & it takes two to lift her! ;)

Dee said...

What's cool is when I Google skinnylittleblonde, your blog is first hit. :)

Dee said...

Oh, and here is my profound are the stream, he's just the rock in the stream, you flow around and pick up speed.

david mcmahon said...

I think your ramblings are terrific. By the way, I shot a picture for you and Carol/ Shrink. Will post it on my blog and link to you in the next few days.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Dee~ Wow...nice to see you out & about! lol about the google thing...a year ago if those words were googled, it was all x-rated. time brings change.

David~ will have to check that out after work tonight! Catch a fairie?

eric313 said...

hope you had the time of you life, too.

you will, now!

and btw
I found you in the archives
but I already learned what
you had to say

your language is still
a secret

Pixie said...

You are such a strong woman with such such wise words.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Eric~ hahahaha...I love the Foo Fighters & Led Zeppelin is no doubt one of my all-time favorites :)I have been lost for so long, secret-keeper, i am surprised that you could find me anywhere...

pixie~ ty, it's hard and i'd like to throw a new post up, but for the time, i'm stuck airing the laundry.

eric313 said...

but the truth is easily found. It smells like a poppy or a red rose in a field of decaying cowpies.

Miss your comments, friend.


eric313 said...

You should consider yourself officially found, friend.

singleton said...

LOL @ annonymous! Next time show your press badge and some manners and maybe you'll be granted an interview!

skinnylittleblonde said...

Anonymous Deleted ~ FYI, yes, yes & yes.

eric1313~ I will have to come out to play more often...soon!

singleton~ harm meant, no harm done... home on the range... just take me to the river.

Little Wing said...

Wow, Skinny... brave go girl!

eric313 said...

Saw you at three am on sing's I just finished writing something huge on her post before the new one.

Thought I'd say hi!
"Good times, bad times you know I had my share..."

skinnylittleblonde said...

Little Wing ~ thank you...I am. divorce is nothing I ever wanted, but the time arose where it became something very much needed.

eric1313~ You may not always see me, but I am always somewhere between the twelve and the three ;) Thanks for bopping in again. i love your early morning's like you were in the sky looking down on Sing & I at our rivers. I'll publish latest post soon, just have to edit works well with your words. p&l...

Nithya N said...

i can't imagine how divorce would feel! i couldn't take a break up! i so appreciate your strength,really skinny, i so appreciate and admire! hats off to you! <3 <3

iamfallingfromgrace said...

god is there when married...lawyers are there in the end. that makes sense how?

skinnylittleblonde said...

nithya~ It doesn't feel very good, even under the best of circumstances, I can assure you that. Unlike anything else.

FallingFromGrace~ Hmmm... we had the Justice of the Peace when we got married and a Judge when we got divorced. No lawyers anywhere & God? I think he was in kahoots with Mother Nature kicking up a hurricane when we got married.