Tuesday, April 29, 2008

If I was a writer...the things I would write

Pilfering through my past... tonight, I came across something I wrote some time ago. I thought... it was something profound, something of significance, something of great worth, something monumental and to be recorded, something to inspire someone...if only myself.

It meant so much to me, at the time, that I had pulled out my keepsake journal from days gone by.
A hardbound spiral with more blank pages than filled...
and sheets more yellow than white,
gifted to me some 15 years ago,
by someone I value so much I would never want to taint the pages with anything but the best.

I rummaged around until I found a clicker bic pen,
I imagined I would write until I finally fell way to sleep
I didn't want the gel ink to bleed onto my sheets as the uniball had many years before.

I made sure I had a bulb in my bedside lamp & fresh linens on the bed.
I propped my pillows just so & filled my glass of tea.
I emptied the ashtray & crawled into the bed I hadn't slept in for close to a year.
I got myself ready to pour out my heart & soul, old school style ...
pen and paper, sideways on the bed...
prepared to stay up for half the night
babbling on about some of my most intimate thoughts, feelings and experiences...

And so I did just that...

Block letters on yellowed pages of a hardbound journal from days gone by...

The beginning and the ending of my ever-so-profound-old-school-writing....

two letters, one word...

'If'

13 comments:

singleton said...

If I could have crawled into your book, and scribbled everywhere, up half the night making pixie doodles in a thousand colors....I couldn't have come up with anything bigger, more profound, than waking up to "If"..... ILYSVVM sweet sister child...And this morning, rising, I realize "if" is what probably saved me through the night.....peace is a window......

Mel said...

Oh gosh.......the writings I did 'back then'.
And the power of the pen to paper!

I still have pen to paper moments--some that reap results, some that doodle as the brain spins--some blank pages cuz even doodles wouldn't be had.

IF

*sigh*

Ah yes.....'if'.....

*huge hugs*

John-Michael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John-Michael said...

I readily visualize your book. Title, "If." Opened, One finds title page, credits, cover blank, then (centered on the next page ... font to allow adequate borders but sufficient size to dominate the page) ... "If" ..., blank end-cover page ... closed. And each Reader would experience a totally different interpretation of, an individual sense of, and their own private realization of your work. Yes!, I can see it.

I love You.

she said...

slb: what a sweet read.. and perfect gift for you: a journal

~just gettin' warmed up for blogs

"to writers! -inkless- but still bleeding ")

if love, if peace..
if the rise of the fish (wink here to jane hirshfield) ~s.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Sing...Lol, if you got my secret message then either your eyes are feeling better or you were able to see well enough to put those contacts in ;) GILYSVM! Well, as they say 'if' is a pretty big word...

Mel...are you gonna have room in your sidebar for all my little awards? ;)Lol, most of my pen to paper moments come while driving and therefore, consist of only a word or two. Lol, I write them down actually believing that I will recall what I was thinking.

John Michael...Ironic that you, Mel & She would all bop in a row. I narrowed my silly award down to not one, but 5 folks and the three of you are three of them. I thought I had so much to say, so much important stuff...but apparently that first word threw me into a world of day-dreams. xox

She...'if the rise of fish'...if you only knew how profound those words are to me right now, you'd be left with one word too...'wow.'Lol, as far as the journal goes, I have so many & so many are filled...but for this writing, lol, I pulled out a very special one. Save the best for last. Peace, Love & Acting on 'If'...

Scott from Oregon said...

only?

WILSONART said...

ABSOLUTELY,,,,waits for nobody, we gotta grab it when it appears, hold on for the ride. Even into journals.

Shimmerrings said...

I have so many journals, all mostly blank pages... I used to write endlessly... then came the keyboard and open journaling, in the form of blogs and such... *sigh*...

Orhan Kahn said...

Fleeting peace could atleast wait for me.. aw, no fair.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Scott...you always make me laugh, yes, if only.

Wilsonart... you know it! I was telling Sister Sing about how that one moment of peace & that one word led to another, then another & then another...moments just dog-piled up until they called themselves sleep.

shimmering...i know how it is! I actually picked up a beautiful 'new' journal this week at the 2nd hand store for a quarter with the hopes of pen to paper but i'm thinking if I can't fill it up, then maybe I should get others to fill it up for me.

Orhan...honey, I am sorry it waits for no-one. When it's there you better milk it for all it's worth, because those moments(just like the ugly ones) will pass.

Mel said...

Awwwwwwwww.....there's ALWAYS a place for you, dearheart.
On the sidebar and in my heart.

*hugs*

Thank you!
.....bunches and lotsa and oodles....

*HUGE hugs*

skinnylittleblonde said...

Mel...Lol, you are such a spit-fire!