The Retailers Pixie ... Revisited

If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I'd like to drop my name in the box for Pixies.
Pixie...a fairylike or elfin creature, especially mischievous. A playful sprite.
Toothfairies, flowerfairies & the sandman all have a good life... but perhaps, just a little too good for me.

All this peace & love needs a little spit & fire.

I'd build my wings from sticks & twigs. I hold them together with sap & spit. I'd proudly flaunt about completely topless & I would never, ever wear shoes. I'd grow my hair long & I wouldn't really brush it. I'd be a professional. Much like the toothfairie, I would have a specialty...an area that I catered to.

Living my life as a Pixie, I would traipse in & out of people's homes, cars & places of employment...

I wouldn't visit everyone, of course, as everyone is not well-deserved of a fine, morally upstanding, professional, long-haired, barefooted, topless Pixie-on-a-mission. I would visit all the people who had once visited me & I would leave a trail, just as they had done.

I would bop in on the I-Can't-Read-Nor-Use-A-Measuring-Tape-But-Can-Tell-If-Its-The-
Right-Size-By-Looking-At-It persons' house & I would unravel every spool of thread, every bundle of rope & every dispenser of tape... just to see if I too, could measure with my eyes & mind.

I would pilfer through cupboards, stacking plates upon bowls, placing cups in pots & I'd put the lids to said pots on the mantle to the fireplace.
I would go into linen closets, remove pillow cases from their matching sheet sets & place them in the garage with the lawn equipment.
I would remove the lid from the gas tank on the lawn mower & place it in the socks & underwear drawer.
I would take one sock & do some spot cleaning in the bathroom with it.
I would remove half the screws from the bathroom fixtures & move the toothbrush holder to the backdoor, placing it right on the ground by Fido's bowl.
I would fill Fido's bowl with crystal beads, stolen from a garland which I found & disassembled.
I would take the peppermill & seasalt grinder & I would grind salt & pepper onto the coffee table & the maybe I'd dabble my initials in it.
I would take all books off of the coffee table & place them on the floor.
I would open umbrellas & put them in the center of the room, along with any mail I might find.
I'd pull one slice of cheese, one egg, one link of sausage out of their packets & place them on the floor right in front of the refrigerator.
I would unscrew pump lotions & squirt a little bit on the counter, then I would smear my fingers through it. A little dab will do.
I would take pictures off of the wall & place them on the furniture, hoping not to scratch any wood.
If I had a Pixie-child, I would let her chew on candles or cashmere sweaters, they seem to be such wonderful replacements for teething rings when consumers are shopping at christmastime. I'd let her play fingerpaint in the syrup ...and she would be more than welcome to leave her sticky little fingerprints wherever she saw fit
Every now & again, I would nibble on some food...taking, say one bite, out of a loaf of fresh-baked bread or a corner off of a Belgium candy bar...yum!yum! and then I'd tuck that nibbled on evidence under a bed pillow in the spare room
I would take apart Parker ink pens to see if the ink looked different & then I would scribble on pretty Victorian stationary sets or past due bills to see if they write differently.
I'd take car keys off of the rings & hang them from ribbons.
I'd re-organize alphabetical files according to my mood.
I'd open glove compartments & trunks & I'd leave them open, maybe I'd put the tissue in the trunk and the spare on the floorboard. I'd flick on all the interior lights, put the wipers on high and turn the radio up full blast...so that when the key is turned some folks would rattle and roll.

Oh, I would be such a good little Pixie...
All in good fun, no harm meant & no money spent.
Much like the shoppers at Christmastime.

Black Friday, the Cree and All the Money

When all the trees have been cut down,
when all the animals have been hunted,
when all the waters are polluted,
when all the air is unsafe to breathe,
only then will you discover you cannot eat money.

Cree Prophecy

Happy Black Friday People...
Please don't put us retailers through too much hell :)
We value you more than your dollar...

Charm Bracelets

Charm bracelets.
Every girl wants one, especially if they have never had one.
Puppy dogs and kittens, ballet slippers & music notes, footballs and years, Statues of Liberty & Leaning Towers, airplanes & trains, lucky clovers & Italian stallions, hearts. peace signs & flowers.
No two charm bracelets alike... like no two girls are quite alike. A reflection of experiences, desires, dreams, past times & times past or yet to come.
I never had a charm bracelet & thought it would be a good idea to get all my nieces one along with two charms for Christmas several years ago. Making my purchase at a large, national retailer I inquired about warranties and was told 'one year: replace or repair if you retain the receipt.'
Four months later, I took two of my nieces & a broken charm bracelet back to the retailer along with my receipt. The girl at the counter said that there was nothing they could do. She happened to be the same exact person who sold me the bracelets and charms. Reminding her of that and still denied, I asked for the department manager. Yet, again I was told that there was nothing that could be done, as they no longer did repairs and the bracelets were over thirty days old.
I asked to speak to the store manager.
He repeated the same thing.
Hmmmm.....
After spending entirely too much time discussing the ins and outs of them changing their company policy, I finally asked the store manager if they accepted returns from other locations.
He said, ' Yes for any reason at all ... as long as they are within thirty days & accompanied with a receipt.'
'Oh, Ok. Great. Thanks for your time... C'mon Girls.'
Off we went, six skinny legs in long stride.
We went into the far-side location of this national retailers and picked up a replacement charm bracelet. Then we went on a glorious little shopping spree. Picking out & up anything and everything that three young ladies could ever want & never really need. When our buggy was full, we smooshed the stuff down. When it got full again, we took out a ten dollar item and replaced it with a similar sized fifty dollar item. We giggled and laughed all the way to the counter.
Cha-Ching, Cha-ching, Cha-ching...the wonderful sound of profits for the far-side retailer.
Cha-ching...the short-term sound of the power of plastic.
Back at the truck, we loaded the bed up and then sat on the tail-gate and opened one package... a silver charm bracelet. The broken one got dropped back into the package provided by the far-side and new one got placed on the wrist....
Thirty minutes later...
'Ma'am, are you returning all these items?'
'Yes'am.'
'Goodness. What's the matter with it all?'
'Oh, we just bought too much. I was told by your manager we could return everything for any reason as long as it was within 30 days and I had the receipt.' Passing her the receipt,'Most of it hasn't even been taken out of the bag.'
'Oh, Ok.'
The final Cha-Ching of the day. With credit in hand...'Oh, tell your manager that the charm bracelet is broken.'

footnote: Yes, I could have just eaten the thirty bucks and just replaced the girls bracelet, but it was the principle. In between my personal spending & corporate spending, they had made about a hundred bucks a week off of me for years and possibly years to come. When this retailers changed their policy, they were no longer honoring their word. In their world, words are worthless but money is not. Words should never be worthless.
Smart Cars Incorporated aka Smartcarsinc.net have proven their word to be worthless. But words are never really worthless.

Retailers Pixie

If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I'd like to drop my name in the box for Pixies.
Pixie...a fairylike or elfin creature, especially mischievous. A playful sprite.
Toothfairies, flowerfairies & the sandman all have a good life... but perhaps, just a little too good for me.

All this peace & love needs a little spit & fire.

I'd build my wings from sticks & twigs. I hold them together with sap & spit. I'd proudly flaunt about completely topless & I would never, ever wear shoes. I'd grow my hair long & I wouldn't really brush it. I'd be a professional. Much like the toothfairie, I would have a specialty...an area that I catered to.

Living my life as a Pixie, I would traipse in & out of people's homes, cars & places of employment...

I wouldn't visit everyone, of course, as everyone is not well-deserved of a fine, morally upstanding, professional, long-haired, barefooted, topless Pixie-on-a-mission. I would visit all the people who had once visited me & I would leave a trail, just as they had done.

I would bop in on the I-Can't-Read-Nor-Use-A-Measuring-Tape-But-Can-Tell-If-Its-The-
Right-Size-By-Looking-At-It persons' house & I would unravel every spool of thread, every bundle of rope & every dispenser of tape... just to see if I too, could measure with my eyes & mind.

I would pilfer through cupboards, stacking plates upon bowls, placing cups in pots & I'd put the lids to said pots on the mantle to the fireplace.
I would go into linen closets, remove pillow cases from their matching sheet sets & place them in the garage with the lawn equipment.
I would remove the lid from the gas tank on the lawn mower & place it in the socks & underwear drawer.
I would take one sock & do some spot cleaning in the bathroom with it.
I would remove half the screws from the bathroom fixtures & move the toothbrush holder to the backdoor, placing it right on the ground by Fido's bowl.
I would fill Fido's bowl with crystal beads, stolen from a garland which I found & disassembled.
I would take the peppermill & seasalt grinder & I would grind salt & pepper onto the coffee table & the maybe I'd dabble my initials in it.
I would take all books off of the coffee table & place them on the floor.
I would open umbrellas & put them in the center of the room, along with any mail I might find.
I'd pull one slice of cheese, one egg, one link of sausage out of their packets & place them on the floor right in front of the refrigerator.
I would unscrew pump lotions & squirt a little bit on the counter, then I would smear my fingers through it. A little dab will do.
I would take pictures off of the wall & place them on the furniture, hoping not to scratch any wood.
If I had a Pixie-child, I would let her chew on candles or cashmere sweaters, as she saw fit.
Every now & again, I would nibble on some food...taking, say one bite, out of a loaf of fresh-baked bread or a corner off of a belgium candy bar...yum!yum!
I would take apart Parker ink pens to see if the ink looked different & then I would scribble on pretty victorian stationary sets to see if they write differently.
I'd take car keys off of the rings & re-organize alphabetical files according to my mood.
I'd open glove compartments & trunks & I'd leave them open, amybe even pulling spare tires & jacks out just to look at them.

Oh, I would be such a good little Pixie...
All in good fun, no harm meant & no money spent.
Much like the shoppers at Christmastime.