Sunday, December 16, 2007

Retailers Pixie

If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I'd like to drop my name in the box for Pixies.
Pixie...a fairylike or elfin creature, especially mischievous. A playful sprite.
Toothfairies, flowerfairies & the sandman all have a good life... but perhaps, just a little too good for me.

All this peace & love needs a little spit & fire.

I'd build my wings from sticks & twigs. I hold them together with sap & spit. I'd proudly flaunt about completely topless & I would never, ever wear shoes. I'd grow my hair long & I wouldn't really brush it. I'd be a professional. Much like the toothfairie, I would have a area that I catered to.

Living my life as a Pixie, I would traipse in & out of people's homes, cars & places of employment...

I wouldn't visit everyone, of course, as everyone is not well-deserved of a fine, morally upstanding, professional, long-haired, barefooted, topless Pixie-on-a-mission. I would visit all the people who had once visited me & I would leave a trail, just as they had done.

I would bop in on the I-Can't-Read-Nor-Use-A-Measuring-Tape-But-Can-Tell-If-Its-The-
Right-Size-By-Looking-At-It persons' house & I would unravel every spool of thread, every bundle of rope & every dispenser of tape... just to see if I too, could measure with my eyes & mind.

I would pilfer through cupboards, stacking plates upon bowls, placing cups in pots & I'd put the lids to said pots on the mantle to the fireplace.
I would go into linen closets, remove pillow cases from their matching sheet sets & place them in the garage with the lawn equipment.
I would remove the lid from the gas tank on the lawn mower & place it in the socks & underwear drawer.
I would take one sock & do some spot cleaning in the bathroom with it.
I would remove half the screws from the bathroom fixtures & move the toothbrush holder to the backdoor, placing it right on the ground by Fido's bowl.
I would fill Fido's bowl with crystal beads, stolen from a garland which I found & disassembled.
I would take the peppermill & seasalt grinder & I would grind salt & pepper onto the coffee table & the maybe I'd dabble my initials in it.
I would take all books off of the coffee table & place them on the floor.
I would open umbrellas & put them in the center of the room, along with any mail I might find.
I'd pull one slice of cheese, one egg, one link of sausage out of their packets & place them on the floor right in front of the refrigerator.
I would unscrew pump lotions & squirt a little bit on the counter, then I would smear my fingers through it. A little dab will do.
I would take pictures off of the wall & place them on the furniture, hoping not to scratch any wood.
If I had a Pixie-child, I would let her chew on candles or cashmere sweaters, as she saw fit.
Every now & again, I would nibble on some food...taking, say one bite, out of a loaf of fresh-baked bread or a corner off of a belgium candy bar...yum!yum!
I would take apart Parker ink pens to see if the ink looked different & then I would scribble on pretty victorian stationary sets to see if they write differently.
I'd take car keys off of the rings & re-organize alphabetical files according to my mood.
I'd open glove compartments & trunks & I'd leave them open, amybe even pulling spare tires & jacks out just to look at them.

Oh, I would be such a good little Pixie...
All in good fun, no harm meant & no money spent.
Much like the shoppers at Christmastime.


Mel said...

Ohhhh....count me in!
Could we put toothpaste in the soap dispenser and toilet paper rolls in the glove compartments, please?
And stick socks on the bedpost.
And loosen the top to garlic powder.
AND put the ice cream in the microwave! :-)
Pretty please?

skinnylittleblonde said...

Lol...Mel! I have a roll of TP in my glove compartment right now! Did you do that?! I think the ice cream should be decorated with tinsel! ;)

singleton said...

OH, girl, I love you so!

wreckless said...

What fun. I got excited at first thinking of a hot topless pixie flitting about, and then I started to have a lot of fun flying around and causing mischief (sp?)
Great post!

skinnylittleblonde said...

ILY2 Sister!

Wreckless~ Lol, it was a fun post to write... and sometimes, I think I have a visiting Pixie here at my house...she eats the last egg, leaves a cardboard spool on the TP dispenser, steals one sock out of the wash & puts my car keys in the damn-dest of places!

Enemy of the Republic said...

Oh, I love this. You make me think of the stories about the faires during the times of the Druids. They never had to obey the dictates of time and life was one big party. This is lovely.

SpongyBones said...

I would stay awake and set traps. Catch you just to say hi in person but then I would turn you loose cause you would be so much damn fun in the wild!

karma lennon said...

Oooohhhh, lovely. I want to be a pixie too! I'd want to be a fairy if they were actually like in the fairy tales but they're supposed to be all mean-spirited. PLSF. :)

karma lennon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
skinnylittleblonde said...

Enemy~ Ha! But we,the mere mortals that we are, know that life is much more than simply one big party. Thinking about it, I really need to squeeze some party-time into THIS life! It seems like some of Spongy & singleton party-mode would rub off..

Spongeman~ Hahaha! Good luck with your traps. I would load them with your money, your duckies & anything else that I might find that I thought might tempt you to rescue them.

Karma~ Lol, I have actually been told that I have Elfin features & with that cute little button nose of yours & those saucer like eyes, I wouldn't be surprised if you have been called a Pixie a time or two. Oh, the cain we could raise! LoL...SPP&L

Spadoman said...

You need to think back, way back. Like I was a Pirate in a former life, you had to have been a Pixie. In fact, you were on my ship, the Quivering Thigh, and you flew up into the windings and among the purchases. I tried to catch you, but you flew around so fast and furious, but settled when I was dreaming, and that's where I saw you up close and we talked. I called you a fairy and wanted a wish. You insisted you were a Pixie and would grant me wishes on your own time. You did shine and sparkle, and your hair was long. Your perky little buttons were smooth and silky. You are a Pixie, I've seen you on the ship.

eric1313 said...

Any time the pixies want to party, let's go. I'm all about pixie porch parties.

Of course, the pixies and faeries of the ancient Druids were fun spirits looking for mischief and to do what they wanted to do, but their fun could have dire consequences for mortals. They'd do things like entrance men to swim out into the water with them and then the person would drown from exhaustion, or a faerie would set fire to things that weren't natural--like homes. They could lure people into the woods with their lights, so deep and far that they'd become lost. It was good fun for the pixies, because they never thought about the demands of being mortal.

That's why even to this day, farmers do things like leave one big tree in the middle of their field uncut. I don't know if you see that down south, but up here, almost every farm has what's sometimes called a father tree, or an elder tree, and it's most often a large Oak or and Ash tree. And they don't dare cut it down, even if they no longer know why it's there. Their grandparents or someone else left it there for a reason; because you better not mess with nature, or it might get a little unnatural on you.

But other than that, you'd be a nice pixie, I'm sure. I'd rather close my glove compartment or put my jack away every morning than any of the things I mentioned up top.

Take care, Skinny

kj said...

dear ms. pixie,

you are a total total imp. in fact, you have passed pixie-imp training with flying colors.

please do not let grown-ups influence you any further.



JustRun said...

I would sign up to be a pixie with you in a heartbeat. And think of the cute, short pixie haircut to go with it?!

skinnylittleblonde said...

Spado...Lol...I love it! And like all good stories go, there is no 'The End'

Eric1313-You blow me away with how much knowledge you have! Yes, we have elders here in the South too & they are always gorgeous....usually a large oak. In fact, my yard has a couple of elders in there is always room for guests...i'm sure they are the ones who leave me marbles.

KJ!!! Thanks!Working retail in the Holiday Season definitely has me feeling quite impish! lol.

JustRun~ We would have a blast! I would have to be a rebel Pixie & sport my hair all tangled up & long!

Orhan Kahn said...

Oh, SLB. If anyone knows exactly what you are saying it is I. Personally I don't think these people should be allowed your graciousness, topless and shoeless, that should only be saved for the special peoples.. like me. Nothing wrong with a topless, shoeless, twig-winged, skinny, little, blonde fairy ;)

piktor said...

Re: your lost friends

Skinny, if you still haven't seen your schoolmates in technicolor-

Fireworks song:

Fireworks song

I recently had problems watching youtube and all I had to do was download the new Adobe flashplayer update.

eric1313 said...

Thanks, Skinny.

Yeah, I always love mystic things and knowledge. It's just fascinating. I've read every damn thing I can get my hands on in life, and somehow, I haven;t forgotten a thing. I've alway been an example of your three L system of thought.

That's why we all get along! You're my people, you and Sing. And I'm yours, just long distance like, you know?

Wizened Wizard said...

Ah, but if you are not YET a Pixie, then who is this Pixie who visits my house so often, spilling salt and pepper, taking bites from bread, smearing lotions about and unwinding all those spools of thread?

Here's a seasonal card for you, and my best wishes for health, happiness, and Pixieness in the new year.


piktor said...

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Orhan Kahn said...

.. and a very Merry Christmas to you dearest Paiger. Thank you for being one of the more positive forces of 2007. Much love and hope in the new year.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Isn't Tinkerbell a pixies? Didn't she almost croak in the story?

Oh, well. whatever.

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Fuzzylogic said...

Merry Christmas ((Skinny))!You are indeed the birhgtest and sweetest little pixie around here:)

she said...

.... so it was you!...

i suspected all along..

and am very grateful. everyone needs their world turned upside down now and then by a beautiful, mischevious soul

merry christmas my creative pixie friend!

"to wild hearts & playful imagination"

much love, ~s.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Merry Christmas to ya, Skinny!

Mavin said...

I can't get enough of that Norman Rockwell Picture, there's so many strange things that stick out, I've never seen that picture before.

Merry Christmas SLB, it's been a while since I've been around, I've missed your blog and your writings. I gifted you the You're An Amazing Blogger award as a Christmas gift and the same with your sister.

Peace-Love, take care, and happy holidays. :D

just me said...

I think you would do such a most excellent job in your pixie-doings that they would make you head pixie in no time...or they would at least make sure you trained new pixies to me.

Running around topless and barefoot, damn, I did that as a kid. Oh, to live my life in magic..

skinnylittleblonde said...

Orhan...Lol, they'd never know what hit them...nor would they catch a glimpse of me and my twigs! ;) xox

Piktor~ Lol, i am a true blonde...easily confused. I see my high school friends in technicolor, realtime. hahahha. Thanks for the flower!

eric1313~ Is that pic of you?! Always great to put a face to a name!

((Fuzzy))~ Merriest Days to you too Dear!

Sometimes Saintly ~ Lol, yes & yes... Merry Ones to you too!

She~ Lol, tis not me dear sprinkling mischief your way. I am afraid that those that visit you, also visit me. Inspiration, is what they are!

Enemy~ Thanks and back at ya!

Mavin~ Thanks! That is an odd old Norman rockwell, isn't it? Not quite like his mainstream works ...even though it was mainstream. Just another example of how we all have different colors within. P&L

JustMe~ Lol, I too ran around topless & barefoot as a kid. You might get a kick out of my 'string bikini & words of wisdom post.' I imagine you to completely relate to the part about getting first bras. Cheers, my dear pixie-at-heart!

Gledwood said...

is that pack of doggies all yours (on your sidebar)...?

if so do they do a lot of baying?



eric1313 said...

Of course it's me! I wouldn't use a pic of anyone else!

Anonymous said...

Gled...Lol, I guess you meant 'begging' and that particular shot was made through my back screen door...they were begging to come in!

Eric~ Lol, Great! You have a great smile!


karma lennon said...

Happy New Year!!!!

Spadoman said...

Happy New Year, and every year, and every day in the year, to you, and all you hold dear, and the universe, in the circle.

Peace to all.

eric1313 said...

We want the world and we want it now!

Happy New Year, Skinny girl!


Mel said...

Happiest of New Years to you and yours, dearheart!

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