Saturday, December 08, 2007

I met a man around the Fourth of July.
I called him Freedom.
He called me a Beautiful Soul.
He was young, well-employed, tall, and handsome with dark hair & light eyes.
We never did anything but talk.
I told him about my upcoming divorce.
He told me about his recent one.
He told me that he had screwed up with his ex-wife by fooling around on her.
He said he did it to stroke his ego.
He told me that if my husband said he loved me (he did)...
that if my husband said he would change his lying & cheating ways (he did)...
that perhaps, I should give him a second chance. (I did)

On the day of my divorce, Freedom called.
He wanted to see me & I said 'no.'

'Freedoms just another word for nothing left to lose'

but you can not lose what you never had.

30 comments:

singleton said...

Oh, girl.....
I wish you were with me tonight....
flying onto the dancefloor....
Stones.....
You know the words....

ILYSVVFM

kj said...

you know, skinny, i wish were flying on that dancefloor with you and singleton, because whatever you meant in this post hits how i feel today--which is about accepting the loss of what could be....

mindy said...

good for you!

mindy said...

oh, and freedom can come at a very heavy price...

Shimmerrings said...

smart girl...

eric1313 said...

Why don't you hang more with us up at the butterfly, friend? This is what we love, telling a story, We just do it in verse!

This is beautiful.

It's just like what we always did at the porch parties and now at the flutterby bar. It's gorgeously said and clever.

I know, you're busy. It's all good. But you should always feel welcome to come to a porch party any time you want to. I'm sure you do, but I thought I should say something anyway.

Plus, I had a post the other day called "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose"
It rocked!

Take it easy there, SLB. See you whenever you float around.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Sing~ Lol, One day I will have to do my Mick Jagger impression for you ... I have heard it's pretty good ;)

kj~ I am long over due for a night of closed eyes & open spirits on the dancefloor. Before any comments, I re-read this post & thought it could be construed 100 different ways, but I do believe you got me loud & clear. In life & life's choices there are always opportunity costs, we just don't always know what they are.

Mindy~ Thanks & ironically enough, freedom has it's costs and its limitations.... making it not quite so free.

Shimmerings...I think you & Mindy are the smart girls here, as I believe the both of you picked up on what was going through my head ... 'nearly midnight?' 'night of divorce?' 'Uh, I don't think so, but thanks for the distraction' ;)

Eric~ Aha! Janis is alive and well...within all of us! I am on my way to see what you say! thanks & as always, peace & love.

Mel said...

*hugs*

You're a wise and loved soul.

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to loose
Nothing,don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free, no no
Yeah feeling good was easy Lord when she sang the blues
You know feeling good was good enough for me
Good enough for me and the SLB

;-)

singleton said...

And in the wise and sage words of the husband previously known as JR.....:)
"next time".....

Only that time, we'll know when to laugh and when to leap!

And I swear we have to practice, to get really really good at saying no, before we can ever jump at yes!

skinnylittleblonde said...

Mel!!! Lol, I found myself sing-songing your words & it literally got me laughing out loud. I have been singing this particular song for months now. Actually for years, off & on again. I have loved it since I was a kid. No one quite like our beautiful soul sister, Janis. And there's no quite like you, beautiful Mel.

Singleton~ JR said 'next time?' whatever was he talking about? Lol, I say No all the time. I have lots of experience at it...been saying it since I was a little kid. Lol. Last night I dreamed I went sky-diving with Curt, Joanie & someone else. Joanie said 'oh, i can't do this' and I said 'Yes, you can...the question is will you? We're here, so of course you will.' sometimes life is as simple as that... we're here, so we might as well live it! Freedom reminds me of that. p&l sister...off to work!

JustRun said...

Ah, wisdom can be bittersweet, can't it? :)

singleton said...

LOL! OK, so he wasn't wise and sage at all, hell he wasn't even pleasant! But, that was his canned answer to "but why can't we?" or "we should" or "we could".....And of course, when I left, it was with these words...
"This time......"
yup! "Freedoms just another word for nothing left to lose....."
ILYSVVM!

eric1313 said...

Glad you liked all the poems, Skinny.

Take it easy and let the love shine in on your terms.

Peace out, friend

wreckless said...

Freedom is so alluring.
Commitment is so honorable.
Life is so hard sometimes.
Biology seems to have doomed us.
Morality is an underdog that will win in the end if you stick with him.

Nithya N said...

may be i'm too young and naive to say anything but the idea of divorce is very very scary.

skinnylittleblonde said...

justrun~ lol, was that wisdom? Lol, it was sweet to be called a beautiful soul, but it was discredited & embittering to get a 'booty call' which is how I saw it.

Sing~ I told you my take on freedom. One gets it truly for just one moment & those who are lucky enough get it for one more, but that's it.

eric~ your poetry is always, always, always so good. Your comment here made a classic Dead song pop into my head. :)

wreckless~ your last sentence kinda ties right in with the conversation I had with Sing about Freedom. We should definitely try to enjoy the time we do have. There are no warranties at how long we will last, but we are warranted to be mortal.

nithya~ long time girlee-whirlee! I have all but withered away as a blogger. You are not too young or naive. It was only slightly scary, but very painful even though I took super strides to keep peace. Time will heal.

karma lennon said...

Gave me chills. Learning this lesson well...

JustRun said...

Well, I sort of meant the wisdom after the fact. The sweet is that we romanticize things, the bitter is that they rarely turn out to be that romantic. :)

Skinny said...

Karma~ Some lessons are easier learned than others. They say you never miss what you have never had... but we can miss what we thought we had or what we even imagined we had....or could have had. P&L, along with some S&F for you girl!

Just Run~ So True! Romanticizing is fun, entertaining & even inspirational. I remember hearing, thinking, seeing something years & years ago that always stuck with me. It was something along these lines. 'There is a fine line between fantasy & reality. That line is called insanity.' Lol, I like to play jump rope with that line...jumping from one side to the other & back again ;)

Orhan Kahn said...

The titless post. Aw. That says it all, really it does.

Orhan Kahn said...

Um, title-less, not tit-less.

Oh, my. Oh, snap.

Dammit people. Nothing to see here.. moving right along.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Good Lord, Skinny. This hit me hard, but I'm glad. I am sorry that you went through this pain. Sometimes I think marriage is of the devil.

sean said...

"Good enough for me and ....."
Way to go Skinny;-)

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

And nothin' ain't worth nothin' but its free.

eric1313 said...

Clink real time if you get a chance! I have a funny post.

And sad news, too.

I hope you are well.

Clink! Tink!

SpongyBones said...

Man I wish you were with me tonight ... the things we could chat about!!!! CLINK CLINK!!!

SpongyBones said...

Ahhhh you're just saying that cause of my youth filled eyes ... click back at ya!

skinnylittleblonde said...

Orhan~ Lol, are you trying to tell me something that I wasn't already aware of? ;) OK, maybe I'll put a title on.

Enemy~ Aw, everything happens for a reason & I was glad to have the momentary distraction.

Sean~ Lol, I think everyone knows & loves that song, on one level or another

Sometimes Saintly ~ and sometimes it's worth whatever we find out we want it to be worth.

Eric~ Hugs & Love to you. Sorry I missed you in real time. Sometimes I really believe we all have one moment of real freedom & the lucky, well they get two moments...separated by a lifetime. xoxoxo

Chad~ You know I am always right around the bend...pleased to meet you out & about ;)

Enemy of the Republic said...

I take my last remark back. I wasn't in the finest of moods.

Max-e said...

Wisw choice