Sunday, September 17, 2006

Wishing Well

Ok, so this evening, after spending a day galavanting around town, checking out the art show, the local cemetary & such, I ventured to our local clothing store.
Walking in the door, I was greeted by an autistic child whose mother was checking out. He seemed to be having a good day. His arms and legs were loosely strapped into his oversized (non-tippable) wheel chair. He had a brace around his head, a protective barrior, protecting that precious smile on his face, from the occassional bouts of head bashing that invariably is gonna happen. He was jumping in his seat. He was crying out with squeals of joy. He was clapping his hands up & down. He was having a good ole' time as the clerk spoke louder than usual to communicate the total amount due to his dear momma.
I smiled at him & his moments of joy. He paid me no mind.
Behind him were 3 women, 3 adult women, 3 AARP women. 3 women old enough to know better. 3 women on their tippy-toes. 3 women with scrowls across their brow. 3 women with their mouths wide open.
Communication is 99% interpretation & almost immediately, I was mad at what these 3 women were communicating in My World.
But, after a few steps & a few more breaths, I realized that I was misunderstanding them.
They had simply never been blessed with the simple things in life, the joy that simple things bring, they had no idea how rewarding a trip to a retail shop, 5 minutes of the warm sunshine or a ride in the car could be. They had lived a lifetime being deprived & denied that priviledge. They weren't evil, uncaring, incompassionate people. I had totally misunderstood them, as they had misunderstood that young boy. It was all in the interpretation.

So this little experience, coupled with a few other more personal ones, has got me going :)

If you read the following sentences, placing emphasis on the words in caps...
'OH, you are so beautiful' can seem sarcastic, stunned or shocked
'oh, YOU are so beautiful' can imply others are not so beautiful
'oh, you ARE so beautiful' can imply that you are insecure
'oh, you are SO beautiful' can imply that you are so vain
'oh, you are so BEAUTIFUL' can imply that you are really ugly

...However, ALL of these can mean something very simple & pure, one thing only...and that is simply that you are beautiful.
Communication is 99% interpretation.

'Wishing Well,' 1994-2006, Paiger
'Sometimes it feels like hell
At the bottom of my wishing well.'


singleton said...

Oh, precious Sib, you are so very right. Perception. Words are just words. Sometimes never big enough to convey the thoughts within. And so often, written, without the added pantomine of eyes, wide open in awe, or dripping tears, or lost at sea, without the lips, curled at the corners,comfortable as the words tumble out, or just whispering....they can be misunderstood. And then sometimes, that is the beauty of it. That the receiver, the reader, the gift-taker can choose their own peace, that which suits them best. And so I place emphasis on these words..Oh, YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! And that can only mean one thing, I love you!

lotusblossoms51 said...

What a great lesson~ So true too. The universe seems to be our classroom. With all the different people and challenges. The good, bad and the ugly. We are all teachers to each other. Sometimes we need to let go of our old ways so we can learn new ways to be a better person to our self and others. We hold our selves back by not being flexible and snap under pressure. Fortunately there are alot of good examples to follow. This skinnylittleblonde is one positive force. She brings us together with her stories. We say a few words to convey what is on our mind and hearts, share our stories, experiences and thoughts. Hoping we are being understood by others we have never met and make another human connection which in turn helps us to feel alive and whole and part of something beautiful...and get that warm fuzzy feeling in your soul. Every mind is a world~

Anonymous said...

How true!
Sometimes it is what we dont say, too.

Also, when writing it is really hard to communicate the feeling behind the words...which is what led to the invention of emoticons. I think we all understand you, even without those things. Thats a feat!

I would of been mad at those 3 women too. But I see what you mean.

doc-t said...

Maybe those ladies were just smurfheads... (smurf is my explicative)

In situations such as those I like to say something that will hopefully educate or enlighten the smurfhead in question...

the people that scowl at a restaurant because a baby is crying...

the people in line at the grocery store who make faces when you have a hard time getting the little one not to stop.

people on a plane who are fed up because the baby's crying annoys them...


I feel for the parents sometimes, because I can see they are a bit embarrased. When I see that i walk up to them and say (where the smufhead can hear) "he/she has a nice healthy set of lungs. that's a good thing mom!"

the toddler in the restaurant who is loud but is only being a pleasant child who is loving life... I might stop as I walk by and say (loud enough for the smurfnits to hear) something like "I'll have what he/she is having..." yes... stolen from "when harry met sally" but always funny.

kids are supposed to be kids...

and grownups are supposed to be grownups...

how small their life must be if they realy think kids should be quiet...

LukisWeb said...

clap clap clap! I clap my hands for you! That was a great story, and an amazing thought process! I don't think I could of even come close to saying it that well. Once again you have great writings! Looking forward to the next post! Thanks for bringing some insight and good thought to the world!

vicci said...

Yep!!!! That is sooooo true! It's all in the perception!!!!! and...everyone's perception is different! Now...imagine me rocking out on Friday night to Elton....laughing...singing...dancing....walking around garage sales the next morning...laughing...singing...dancing.....and sitting here at my puter....laughing...singing and dancing...reading your wonderful stories!!!! BIG HUGE SMILE!!!!

Maryellen said...

"You are beautiful, no matter what they say, and words can't bring you down."

Ignorance and judgement are what I see in the picture you paint in the store Paiger. I see and feel it all the time aimed at me at work for my disability, and really at my blind friend who runs the cafeteria and is nothing short of genius (hint: blind people are not hard of hearing). The trick is in my accepting igonorance as just who they are, and that is not their fault and decidedly not the recipients fault. Fortunate for the judger they obviously have not experienced a permanent disability in their body (or in a loved ones body), but could at any given second, or they would know that little boy in the wheel chair is just as normal as them, and is reflecting himself outwardly with the mechanisms his body allows him to use, and he is in no way anyone to be judged harsly. Nature made him who he is. He is natural. When I see someone who is visibly in any way challenged physically, mentally, etc. etc. etc. I just see someone who is most often, in their mind, wiser about much of life on many different levels.

Yup this one pushed my buttons, but only in a positive way, because I got to say these words that most of the time I just have to hold.

skinnylittleblonde said...

So many comments, so many truths!
Every mind is a world~ LOL...the very thought that started the whole About Me page, the whole blog thing...all of this!

How small is the world & yet, everyone in it is so big!

Words...they never cease to inspire! Thank you for sharing your thoughts & words!

Isn't it funny how a letter written yesterday can read so differently today!

Vicci-Rock On Girl!
Maryellen-Growing up with two epileptics, one Downs Syndrome w/ mild autism & a juvenille diabetic, having a legally blind brother ... who is one of my best friends, I know that you are correct.
I, like you, am so blessed to have been brought into a world where I learned not to be judge & jury.
And where I have learned not to expect the same of others.

SAS said...

Wow! The Words just keep coming! Isn't it beautiful? One world. Peace. If we could all remember to read between the lines! I love it!

Maryellen said...

As I said:

"You are beautiful, no matter what they say, and words can't bring you down."

It is hard, but I find my biggest lesson for the most part is the development of "acceptance and forgiveness". I was given a strong and athletic body in younger years and in a split second I had an invisible disability. Now I deal with the redefinition of self,and the acceptance and forgiveness of those who do not understand. A policeman tried to give me a ticket because I obviously did not own the truck with the disabled plates. I asked him if he knew the term "invisible disibility", handed him my registration and drivers license, let him go loose jawed, and I walked away looking very normal. If he could step into my body he would start screaming. I do not scream, seldom cry and I go hiking. Oh well. Life is wonderful and if we pay attention we never stop learning if we keep living the adventure.

skinnylittleblonde said...

"You are beautiful, no matter what they say, and words can't bring you down."

But hopefully, they can bring us up, if even only for a moment. And lord knows life isbuilt monet upon moment. Words can mean so much to me. They have saved me, they have pulled me back & inspired me in so many ways.

I am so sorry for the pain you feel, physically, but especially when you meet folks like the 3 women I spoke of. It is there loss, but that doesn't make it any better for you. And, you are right, we never stop learning.
Right again Maryellen, we all should remeber that it just takes a moment, a nano-second for our whole world to change.

BTW- Doc-T , I did say to myhubby, as wewalked past those ladies was with a smile on my face, "oh...he is so happy! Like a kid at Christmas time!"

SAS, funny how sometimes it is reading in between the lines that get us in trouble...when we read too much, usually.

SAS said...


Maryellen said...

This is my 3rd return to tell you I love the drawing. The reaching. The rising up. What is the name of the art and did you draw it Paiger or SAS? or a third party. I love it so much.

skinnylittleblonde said...

TY, Maryellen.
It's called 'Wishing Well.'
It's a picture of Paiger, by go with my little fine print poem! :)

KImbies said...

May we always take joy where we see it!!! So very sorry those old coots could not see it. As Chief big heart said about Big Dad O when he met him. It was a saturday,just a parking lot, but the bikes where big Harleys, Brother could not resist his eyes where big, his gutteral sounds where that of racing motorcycles. Big Dad O had to let him get a little closer just to look, Cheif Big Heart and crew where exiting the store, they greeted this father and son, Big Dad o explained how he loved motorcycles, and that he did not speak the kings english, but that he was trilled to just get close and look. Cheif Big Heart responed with "just look oh no hop on we will take his picture." As they got brother on and started taking pictures Chief Big Heart could not help but to stare at Big Dad O. As he shared later with us if only he had taken a picture of Big Dad O so that every child could capture the unconditional love that was ozzing from every pore of his body, then every child would know true love! Cheif Big Heart has been a blessing to this family and to many others!!

Sister Mary Lisa said...

I like your post here. It's hard when others don't see the special moments for what they are. I also love your drawing. I also love to do you do it professionally? I've only posted a couple drawings on my blog so far.

:) Keep up the great posts!

Orhan Kahn said...

Insightful, to say the least.

Just a Brother said...

I'm diggin' these words!
I mean,
I'm DIGGIN' these words!
It's all good, know what I mean?