Friday, February 06, 2009


Last summer I found myself escorted by heron....down the river and again, at the beach.
They watched me.
They followed me.
And as things always seem to go full circle, they led me.

Everything means something to me & I believed these majestic, primitive beings were a totem of sorts...

patience...followed by assertion
innate wisdoms...coupled with balance
self-reliance...and time management...

I remember watching them watching me...
I remember reflecting on my life...
ninety miles to nothing, running in circles & going no-where, appeasing this one and that one just to have a moment of peace, surviving but not quite living

So, I listened to my gut and I put on my boots of patience. I laid my head to the ground and I listened and when it was time to get up and dance, I danced... all by myself, alone... in my kitchen and in my living room and sometimes even in the bathroom and when my gut said 'sit this one out,' I sat. I watched and I waited and if anyone caught me watching them, as I had caught the heron watching me, I simply smiled.

When I left home two days ago, I stopped with two tires in the road & two on my brick pad. Under the shade of a great oak tree, filtering the sideways sun shining down on us, I saw the shadows of LoVe.
Climbing that tree... stretching up and reaching down, dipping into the crevices that only fairies and ants knew about. And down below, in the midst of icy cold dirt and dead leaves, a sprinkling of green and one simple word...Grow.

In the past two days I have been shocked, surprised and greatly honored with some of the greatest rewards life can give.
Hugs.
Lots of them.
Patting ones and rubbing ones, squeeze ones & nestling ones, ones coupled with kisses & ones coupled with tears.
My reward for believing.
I have been inundated with treats and drinks & heartfelt gifts.... unbelievable stuff.
Handmade Peruvian belts from forty years ago, baby azalea shrubs, pewter peace keepers, written words in the name of art and expression that moved my spirit...
and most importantly...
LoVe...pure, sweet, simple, accepting love.
I am such a lucky girl...

9 comments:

Orhan Kahn said...

You are many shades of lucky, Paiger :)

Mel said...

Graced, no doubt.

And btw--I personally think you're due the spoiling.

Just sayin'....

Oceanshaman said...

It's just all the good energy you put out comin' backatcha . . .

Shimmerrings said...

I'm so happy for you... and thank you for the post... because when I think of all the hugs and stuff that I don't get... and that I know I could be getting... it reminds me of where I need to be... and where I don't need to be...

skinnylittlesister said...

Orhan...Lol, a year ago, I would have never predicted such an outpouring. Most of these people resented me, not because of who I am, but because the shoes I filled. I represented change, cohesiveness & order. It really has been amazing.

Mel...Lol, I really have no grace. I trip over my own feet. Gifts make me uncomfortable. But hugs and heartfelt sincerities fill me up.

Oceans...maybe, I don't know. But I really do think that those egrets were calling out to me... they inspired me to hang tight, move in peace, watch closely, trust my gut and take a plunge when the time was right...

Shimmerings... I live alone & honestly don't hug as much as I would like to, even though I do hugs my dogs daily. I went for a really long time sailing, thinking I was sinking, on nothing but blind faith and determination towards something I hadn't even defined. I have a feeling you are somewhere similar to that place now. And even though it may not feeli like you are where you are where you are supposed to be at moments, we have to remember it is square one that takes us to square two.
Much Peace & Much Love...

Shimmerrings said...

Yeah, and you don't get to square two unless you step off of square one...

skinnylittlesister said...

So true Shimmerings and sometimes those logs that fall in our life's path may trip us, sometimes they give us a new vantage point and sometimes they are stepping stones. Big, nestling, squeezing, warm hugs for you!

KarmaLennon said...

HUGS!! :) I <3 you, Skinny and I miss you much.

skinnylittlesister said...

Awwww Karma! How I would LoVe to be dancin' in the corner to some smokey blues with you!!!
Big Hugs!