Friday, July 27, 2007

Sweet Revenge... Sweet Peace

I think I was 12 when I decided that I wanted to try out for cheer-leading. I still don't really know why. My family & I had just moved from central Florida to a house in Mississippi on the beach. The world was completely different there.
The try-outs were held at a local Civil War park. Amidst the bronzed cannons & moss-draped oaks were about 40 girls, me & two grown women with whistles.
I knew no-one & everyone else seemed to know each other.
All of us...legs kicking, arms flying, voices echoing...WildCatz Got Dat Feev-ah!
'She too dang skinny'
'Um-hmmm...we hafta troe hur up'
'Unt-uh! She too dang pointay. Take yer eye out or punchur yer lung wit she come down!'
' She ain't gowna make hit.'
'Bedder not.'
'Taint no way.'
I kicked higher, flung further, yelled louder & then, I walked home with my head hanging like a gerber daisy snipped in the morning & lugged around all day.
I told my father about my day & about how if I did make it, I'd like my bony little elbow to bust their lips wide open ... about how I felt like they would be getting just what they deserved.
'Child of Mine...Know This in Life ... Success is the Sweetest Reprisal.'
S U C C E S S I S T H E S W E E T E S T R E P R I S A L .

I wanted to go to college.
'Why?! You need to find a good, hard-working, young man & just settle down! Why waste the money, the time?!'
Well, I wasted the time & the money. I went to college. Through-out my public education I was a C student, at best... college saw me on the Deans' List.

I allowed those words to lead me against the will of the very man who shared that wisdom with me.

'I know I have a degree in Education, but I am going to work for XYZ Company. They have great benefits & I will make more money to pay all these student loans off.'
'What?! But, teaching would be more...noble, more... respectable.'
'Uh, I am going into Corporate Sales, not prostitution.'

Success is the Sweetest Revenge...

'I am going to buy a house!'
'What?! Why?! You don't need to be locked into living there?! You're not married, you don't need this commitment'

Success is the Sweetest Redress... the Sweetest Revenge ... the Sweetest Reprisal.
'I am going to get divorced next week.'
My fathers' words when I wanted to cheer...to have fun.
'I trust you in your decision'
My father never wanted anything other than what he thought was best for me. He never meant to hold me back & he never did.
He did a good job raising me, maybe he doubted himself in that aspect & that's why his aspirations for me were different, I don't know.
But I do know he played football and he played to win.
I was a cheerleader and I cheered for fun.
We defined success differently.
He still calls me defiant, independent, spirited & feisty.
But really I was just listening to him all along...
and I know now that he knows that.
sweet peace.

32 comments:

singleton said...

ahhh, you precious child....how well I know those words....And the very man that empowered us with that wisdom.....
success is the best revenge
success is the best respite
success is the best revolution
success is the best retaliation
success is the best reason
...to fatefully fail in the first
first place.

Broad shoulders.
And butterflies are free.....

ILYSVVFM

piktor said...

Skinny, another little gem, you wrote here.

eric313 said...

Your success make me proud of you, like I've know you forever, too. Your words fill me with hope.


Thanks for listening all the times I rant. It's good for me. These words will be here forever--ont this page and in my heart!

Go ahead and ramble at my treehouse anytime, Cheerleader.

funny
My friend m calls herself the cheerleader of the damned. She was one too, and took her own experience with her forever. I find it interesting how highschool cheerleaders are affected by the experience, and what it meant to them.

It's a hell of a metaphor, too. You go out dressed up to act out love for one side over the other--the time honored "good vs evil", us vs them mentality of sports

Glad you come from the same kind of mold, and I think I could tell. defiant and succesful--by your own standards and nobody else's. You rock!

eric313 said...

And loved the wilted yello daisy. Such a sad image, so sad imagining you feeling like that!

And singleton
"Broad shoulders.
And butterflies are free....."

What a wonderful thought. Keep that head high--at least so you see whats coming down the pipes!

Bless your heart
for listening
and
rambling
Clink!

kimbies said...

my dear love, oh how I hear you loud and clear!!!! I also was raised by this same father! Tackling diferent obstacles at this same time. Just know I love you always, we are all wonderful and so blessed to have the family we have!love Kimbies

Reflections said...

I too became education and all it did was give me confidence to move from job to job. I love it! As a teen I wanted to surf and be a beach bum, but I compromised, I became just a bum, eh, eh.

Mel said...

The desire to 'show 'em all' when they told me I'd 'never make it' was the start of a fantastic journey that I'm still on, today.


Fiesty, defiant, oppositional--stubborn, prideful, independent, self sufficient, self reliant...name it what you will.
IT brought me here.

:-)



Gosh....you sound very familiar. LOL

skinnylittleblonde said...

KimBies !!!!
Lol...I love some of the wisdoms that our elders have shared with us...how about 'perseverance shall pay off!':) I can hear him saying it! We really are so lucky, so fortunate, so very blessed with one another. I love you so very much & miss you terribly Kimbies. Once I get past the next month or two, I am hoping to scooch on down. xoxoxox

skinnylittleblonde said...

Singleton~ Funny...just tonight I noticed how broad my shoulders were beginning to get ;)

Piktor~ Well, thank you :)

Eric1313~ Something you said prompted me to post on this. I guess my point was that you can do things that your parents don't understand or support & if you do whatever it is successfully, you'll make them proud & eventually, they learn to trust your choices for yourself.

reflections~ that sounds good to me! Life is for living...we gotta be happy in what we do!

Mel~ Lol, it's amazing what a little bit of mental, spiritual or physical adrenaline can do to a woman! I really do think a gang of women could probably push an oak tree over if they wanted to. LOL.

Orhan Kahn said...

You and I see revenge in very different ways. Yours is alot more peaceful and productive. Mine involves scorching the Earth until the children of those who have done me wrong fear my name. Though I'm alot more humble these days because of people such as yourself, Singy and the missus.

Your father was certainly a smart man, no doubt. Don't know why but I never considered you had such a beautiful understanding of your father, you seemed independant enough, much like myself, to let life teach you what you needed to know.

As for cheerleading, well, well. You're welcome to do a little at the beach for me, I certainly wont complain ;)

kj said...

defiant, independent, spirited, and feisty.

are you kidding? who WOULDN'T want exactly those words on her/his gravestone?

my parents told me the same thing. i knew it was true as far back as first grade. we are both learn-ed and streetwise--a great combination in life,don't you think?

:)

eric313 said...

I posted again. And guess at what time? 3:33 AM. Thought you'd really laugh at that!

to the morning, my rambling friend. You listen well, and didn't judge me, and that meant the most.

Clink!

Bardouble29 said...

My dear friend...you are I, are 2 peas in pod!

I went out for cheerleading and made it!

I have been told more times that I am too skinny, all knees and elbows.

And I have been told way too many times that I will never succeed at what I want...

Well I am almost where I want to be...just a little step at a time!!!

Cheers to us girls who never accept the answer NO!

skinnylittleblonde said...

Orhan~ Lol, thank you...it's something learned...it was not innate. I was an evil small child ;)BTw, I am cheering right now at the idea of hitting the sands & the sea!

KJ~ You are so wise in that you may get notions from home, but the streets are where you learn what they really mean.

Eric~ 333! Unbelieveable. Must have been those shrooms! Will go see after thunderstorms pass.

BarD~ Lol, yes! These boots were made for walking... and sometimes we run, jump, skip & even kick them off to dance barefoot in the kitchen!

mindy said...

i went to college and all i have is a piece of paper and a bill for 20,000. i took college for granted. i was usually too hungover to care. i threw away every single paper i ever wrote. every calculus problem i had ever finished. that sucks.

skinnylittleblonde said...

I am right there with you on your first sentence. That sucks. I threw out all my papers & such as well, but have never missed them. Looking back, perhaps I shouldn;t have taken it so seriously & should have had more fun.

eric313 said...

Everything OK SLB?

This really was excellent. It's more than a ramble--it's a song I know so well. Thank you for the timing of it. You could probably tell that I could relate well with this story.
Bless you and peace out
Clink!

PS I could tell from the text that you have a history of making mostly the right decisions--never worry about any you have to make in the future. You have the faith of your sisters, and your friends--old and new ones alike.

The Lad said...

Wow...
Success ...Yeah it is Sweet..Sweet revenge nn peace....:)

PEace!!!

skinnylittleblonde said...

Eric~ Lol, yeah, all is good. The more mistakes I make in life, the better my decision making skills get.

the lad~ sweet peace to you!

eric313 said...

Hey, did you see my new poems?

eric313 said...

clink a link tink!
my friend

david mcmahon said...

What a great description of how low your head was hanging. Now that is one nifty turn of phrase!

paddy said...

Success is the Sweetest Reprisal.'
Beautiful tribute to the last words.
Y;-) Paddy

Scott from Oregon said...

Too skinny to use pom poms?

No way.

Cheers to your successes...

JustRun said...

My mother used to and still does say "Living well is the best revenge." I always think of that when I get irritated with people or situations. Mostly people, though. :)

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Most parents have different aspirations for their kids than they, or their parents, may have had for themselves. They're not wrong, they are only doing what they believe is best. And what is right for them doesn't usually hold true for their offspring.

I know I'll screw up my kids despite wanting to do the opposite. 'Tis what happens! (I hope they will know it was done with love.)

skinnylittleblonde said...

eric~ to be completely honest with you...I don't know. I have not bounced around this morning or last night, so knowing how quickly you bap them out, i probably have not... but I will play catch up soon, I promise. My life is very full right now. patience, my dear. ;)

Paddy~ Wonderful words of wisdom!

Scott~ Lol, I know my arms can be like mower-blades, so they were right to be scared ;)

JustRun~ Your mother & my father were on the same page! Lol, I think of those words too when I am feeling frustrated & they have probably helped to keep me off the evening news ;) J/K/K

Shrink~ No doubts in my mind about that. My father never did/ said anything with ill-intent, nor was it perceived that way. I am sure your kids, like me, will value & appreciate all of your words, efforts & exposures. they won't be screwed up at all my dear... they'll be the stronger & better for all of your love.

eric313 said...

You mmind that full life to the best of you're abillity!

Look at me; I was waiting for you, but I shouldn't. If you miss something, you always catch up! That's cool. I just rely a lot on you and Singleton's thoughts, even if you only quote me! It's all cool. I just need feedback because I don't always know if it's good, and sometimes, the oddest suggestion makes it better.

Besides, sister Sing will always keep you up on anything really good. She's totally cool for that. Both of you and all your people are, too.

Hammer said...

Beautiful post. Makes me glad I didn't listen to the nay sayers in my life.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Hammer ... and somehow, i know the same will hold true for your children, too.

she said...

appreciate every word -yours and his

"we define success differently"

i'll print this out for my children

skinnylittleblonde said...

She~ TY & I appreciate your sharing of words & experiences too! I learn so much & love it ... ty.